Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Historic Scotland set lasers to stun.


The New York Times today carries the following story about Scottish expertise helping to preserve one of America's famous iconic landmarks, and scene of my favourite Hitchcock fillums, 'North by Northwest', Mount Rushmore.




Naturally I thought I'd put it here, so that passing strangers might get a chance to read it, because if the Hootsman does cover the story, it'll be portrayed as some form of anti-SNP story... 


Enjoy.


 EDINBURGH — Come April a small team of experts from the Glasgow School of Art and the government heritage entity Historic Scotland will fly to South Dakota at the behest of an organization called CyArk and the United States National Park Service. They will make laser scans and computer models of Mount Rushmore.

Aside from the wee bit of Scottish blood in three of the four enshrined presidents (Lincoln’s the odd man out, in case you’re wondering), there is of course nothing whatsoever Scottish about this most all-American of sites. But cultural expertise transcends national borders. The Scottish team of four or five will spend a few days setting up and moving around their various scanners to capture all of Mount Rushmore’s nooks and crannies, collecting billions of bits of digital information, which will then be brought back here, to be crunched and sorted out by computer.

What results should be the most complete and precise three-dimensional models ever of the site, millions of times more detailed and accurate than the best photographs or films, precise down to the tiniest fraction of a millimeter. 

In an era of computer animation, with gamers navigating virtual universes at the click of a mouse, making laser scans of old monuments may not sound special, but the Scottish team has achieved some unprecedented levels of sophistication with their models. Through scanning, the experts can conjure up what objects looked like ages ago, in effect turning the clock back on ancient sites. They can simulate the effects of climate change, urban encroachment or other natural or man-made disasters on those same sites, peering into the future. 

Given a proposal for a new building in a city like Edinburgh, they can also create virtual realities, almost microscopically accurate, so viewers might see what the building looks like from all angles in the place where it’s intended to go, including the shadows it might cast at different times of day. 

The technology isn’t brand new or unique to Scotland, but the Glasgow team is on its cultural front line. Douglas Pritchard, a Canadian-born architect by training, is the wizard behind the Digital Design Studio at the art school. He heads the Scottish laser expedition with David Mitchell, director of Historic Scotland’s Technical Conservation Group. Describing how fast laser modeling has progressed and how far it might soon go, Mr. Pritchard said, “We’re no longer a million miles from the ‘Star Trek’ holodeck.”
He was perfectly serious. 

The cultural implications of the technology are big, as are the political ones for Scotland, which, via the country’s culture minister, Michael Russell, has latched on to the laser team’s work.
It was about three years ago that Mr. Pritchard’s art school group began surveying a swath of the center of Glasgow, along the River Clyde, creating 3-D digital representations of some 1,400 buildings and dozens of streetscapes. They caught the attention of Mr. Mitchell, who enlisted Mr. Pritchard to scan a decaying iron bridge in Dundee, which was nearly impossible to survey with much accuracy except by laser. 

The bridge project led to scans of Stirling Castle and Rosslyn Chapel, the 15th-century Gothic fancy to which “The Da Vinci Code” has lately brought swarms of conspiracy-minded tourists. One of them was a man who tried one day to take a sledgehammer to the so-called Apprentice Pillar, convinced that the Holy Grail was hidden inside it. 

No harm done, but the event illustrated, as Mr. Mitchell noted, why scans are necessary. “Remember Windsor?” he asked, referring to the fire in 1992 that burned parts of the British royal castle. “If restorers had had laser scans back then, they could have rebuilt everything to within three millimeters of accuracy, but instead they had to rely on conjecture from photographs.” He noted the more recent case of the Buddhas in Afghanistan that the Taliban blew up in 2001. 

The basic principle behind the laser technology is simple: A box, with a laser inside, sits on a tripod; as the box slowly rotates 360 degrees, the laser, moving up and down, bounces its beam off whatever is solid in front of it. In so doing, it registers some 50,000 points in space every second. Traditional surveyors might produce a couple of hundred measurements a day, prone to subjectivity and human error. Lasers collect millions of measurements per hour. A scanner can even identify certain materials, determining whether something is, say, made of glass or stone. 

Aerial lasers and a hand-held version operate the same way. Combined, they can bring to life as 3-D images entire cities or a mountainside, like Mount Rushmore’s. 

This spring, at a digital-documentation conference in Glasgow, Mr. Russell met with Ben Kacyra, the American engineer and inventor of the scanner. Partly because of what had happened to the Buddhas in Afghanistan, Mr. Kacyra had established the nonprofit CyArk to compile scans of 500 Unesco World Heritage sites around the globe. 

The Scottish crew was signed up to scan for CyArk five Scottish World Heritage sites (the Old and New Towns of Edinburgh; Neolithic Orkney; the island of St. Kilda; New Lanark; and the Antonine Wall, an ancient Roman ruin) as well as five other sites. Having been already in touch with the Park Service about Mount Rushmore, CyArk enlisted the team to start there. 

What are the big cultural implications? For starters, Mr. Pritchard talked about “a new kind of empowerment.” He was referring to the prospect of using virtual-reality models to allow the public to judge all sorts of proposed urban plans. The drawings and computer simulations long cooked up by developers and architects will be replaced by more detailed, easier-to-comprehend, more objective views, in essence democratizing knowledge. 

The benefits of storing and distributing state-of-the-art views of the world’s most precious cultural sites at low cost (the annual budget for the Scottish team is under a half-million dollars) are obvious. 

By way of example Mr. Pritchard showed off on his laptop a ruined Victorian monument, Paisley Fountain. It was returned in virtual guise to its original lacquered green sheen, thanks to some paint scraping taken by Scottish restorers. When combined with the laser scans, the scrapings proved what the surface of the fountain first looked like. Nobody had imagined it to have been so shiny. “But,” as Mr. Pritchard said, “technology doesn’t lie.”

Then he clicked on a virtual model of a Maori canoe, bought in pieces not long ago by the National Museum of Scotland and never assembled. Laser scans proved it never could be: the pieces turned out not to belong together. 

The demonstration pointed toward some bright, gleaming, globalized frontier of cultural information-sharing and progress, albeit curiously backward-glancing. In London at the moment there happens to be an exhibition of paintings by the German-born British artist Frank Auerbach from the 1950s and early ’60s, marvelous pictures that show the city rebuilding as if from scratch after the war. 

Back then, death and destruction held out for midcentury Modernists the prospect of a new urbanism, a fresh start born of loss and industrial advances. 

That was half a century ago. 

The new cutting edge of laser technology offers instead a means to preserve and restore whole cities exactly as they once were. It promises a world kept as if in amber. 

A virtual past that never dies.



Set to Stun

"Something fishy over SNP election hopeful who was born in two places..." Labour reaches new low.



The Duke of Wellington, pictured above, sporting his now familiar traffic cone outside Glasgow's Gallery of Modern Art, the GOMA, was the subject of much ridicule for being the most English of Englishmen.

Daniel O'Connell, the great Irish liberator, who campaigned for Catholic emancipation, the right for Catholics to sit in the Houses of Parliament and for the Independence of Ireland was the man whose quote about Wellington's birthplace has often been misattributed to the Duke himself.

O'Connell said, " The poor old Duke! What shall I say of him? To be sure he was born in Ireland, but being born in a stable does not make a man a horse."  

Which brings me to the latest super duper smart campaigning tool from the Labour party, fighting for their safest seat in Scotland. At no great expense, the labour party have produced and printed 30,000 leaflets which will be slithering through letterboxes throughout the constituency over the next couple of days. 

This leaflet does not point out what great things Willie Bain will be doing as their Labour MP in Parliament, it doesn't comment on the fact that he's completely at odds with the Labour party over his support of the striking posties, nor that he opposes privatisation of the Royal Mail, nor does it highlight his slamming of Glasgow's Labour Council policy of school closures as 'the wrong decision'.

Instead it accuses the SNP candidate, David Kerr, of being a big, fat, smelly liar over his place of birth.  No doubt, the assertion being that if Kerr lied about that, he'd eat your children and defecate in the Pope's Mitre whilst flagellating himself with the latest Dan Brown tome.


Kerr made the mistake of claiming to have been born in the constituency. His parents may have lived in Shettleston, his mother may have carried him for nine months in Shettleston, he may well have returned to the family home, in Shettleston, a few days after popping into this brave new world. However, the fact remains that he was born in a maternity hospital on the South side of Glasgow, not Shettleston. In the eyes of Labour this, obviously, like the Duke of Wellington, does not make him either a horse or Shettlestonian.




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Rather than regurgitate all the despairing facts on life in this constituency, have a gander below and wallow in the poverty, ill health, lack of education and unemployment statistics.

Michael Martin left this constituency in a state befitting some third world shit hole, Willie Bain was his agent and Labour party secretary. 







Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Say hello to my leetle friend.


It appears that the recurring theme of gangsters in Glasgow has reared its ugly head yet again.

SNP Councillor Billy McAllister had written to Labour Provost Bob Winter asking for a debate on a council motion on organised crime in the city.

The Lord Provost has refused the debate citing that 'he will decide all matters of order, competence and relevence.'

Naturally it is within his authority to grant of deny motions to council business, however I can't quite get my head around why Glasgow city council wouldn't want to at least debate this obvious problem. 

We know of the near cult status some of these people accrue and the plethora of hagiographies that climb the bestseller's list, perhaps they give the reader some vicarious thrill to read about thugs shooting each other up the arse with shotguns. All the same, surely it's the responsibility of every elected politician to stand up to the gangsters, dealers and thugs that control huge swathes of Scotland.

Willie Bain, the Labour PPC has deemed that the good folk of Glasgow North East are not interested in the root causes of organised crime and are only interested in locking up kids caught carrying knives. I suspect that Labour have read the runes wrong, failure to address one of the core problems in the constituency could have a disastrous effect on Labours ability to hold on to their massive majority. Failure to not even discuss or recognise the problem, naturally, gives carte blanche, to that particular breed of unemployed Labourers, tanning salon owners, security bosses and taxi drivers with second homes in Spain. 

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

One armed bandit front bench reshuffle.







Walking charisma void Iain Gray and erstwhile leader of the Labour group in the Scottish Parliament, has reshuffled his dynamic front bench team, with an even more err dynamicer team.


In a move akin to juggling deckchairs on the Titanic, Mr Gray's attempts to spice up his team are pretty difficult to satirise.




For example, noted human vacuum, Jackie the Hutt replaces Cathydoll Jamieson as party health spokesperson. No doubt this has less to do with her renowned physical appearance and more to do with the fact that she gurned loudest and longest about the nine clostridium difficile deaths deaths at the Vale of Leven hospital, which happened between December 2007 and June 2008 and were entirely Nicola Sturgeon's fault, because obviously viruses become stronger under an SNP government.




Cathydoll moves to housing and regeneration, which is pretty laughable given her constituency suffers from crap housing stock and is so weighted down by the dead hand of Labour that regeneration has little chance of success.


Other nova bright moves are  Rhona Brankin stepping down as education spokeswoman for family reasons. To replaced by Clydebank and Milngavie MSP Des McNulty. 

Former Health minister Andy Kerr has more burdens added to his already poorly handled finance and economy remit.



Hamilton North and Bellshill MSP Michael McMahon becomes local government spokesman.


John Park has been dumped from his economy and skills role and has been handed the poisoned chalice of elections and campaign portfolio, he still gets to keep his seat in the shadow cabinet. 

There is still no place in the front bench team for the venerable Baron George Foulkes von Cumnock. A vote winner if ever there was one. 

This is the last roll of the dice, the last tug on the puggy machine for Gray, if Labour lose Glasgow North East, you can bet your bottom dollar Gray will get it in the neck from Spud Murphy, Darling and Broon himself. The oddest fact to emerge from the whole murky reshuffle is that it takes 27 Labour MSP's to shadow an SNP Ministerial team of 16 - some 60 percent of the the entire labour Parliamentary group! Go figure.



Monday, 26 October 2009

No Mean City Ya Bassa




Colour me gob smacked that the Express, is the first Scottish paper to flag up the actual genuine bona fide problem that impacts on life in Glasgow North East more than almost anything else.


Violence, drug dealing, addiction, theft, prostitution and money laundering can all be lain at the feet of a few families in the constituency, Glasgow's very own Soprano's, the gangster families.

Bada bing

'One man on a mission to clean up this corner of the city is local councillor Billy McAllister, who needed armed police protection after he forced the Lyons crime family out of a council-run community centre"

Chirnsyde Community Initiative in Milton is now well known as the place where Cllr McAllister took on the Lyons family and managed to evict them from controlling the centre which had received a quarter of a million pounds of Glasgow City Council funding and was known to be the place to score the finest drugs known to Milton.


Gangsters be here.

Mr Lyon's the caretaker of the above centre on £18,000 a year had £63,000 in cash confiscated from his home, he claimed it belonged to an associate of his son... 

 Billy McAllister, the SNP’s deputy leader at Glasgow City Council yesterday claimed Labour has not done enough to tackle the problem.

He said: “Why am I the only councillor in this whole city raising the issue of organised crime?

“Surveys come back saying crime is the number one concern of residents, but nothing changes.

“I’ve been attacked, my car has been attacked, my house has been attacked,” he added. “Of course I’m in danger but that is no deterrent to standing up for what is right.”


Willie Bain, the Labour candidate underplays the influence of the gangster, insisting that most people in the area are more concerned with low-level street offending.

He said: “Knife crime has been by far the biggest issue and there is growing support by the day for my mandatory sentences for anyone carrying a knife.”


The fact that a culture of crime has been allowed to grow in the East End of Glasgow owes much to the loose hand of Labour which has represented the area at council, Holyrood, Westminster and Europe, since St Mungo was a boy.   

The boy Limmy plays a blinder.

Friday, 23 October 2009

Isle of Man Alive



For those of you unfortunate enough not to receive the joy of Border TV or BBC North West, you may have missed the mild stramash that Alastair Darling has created in the heart of the British Isles, by cutting the Isle of Man's budget by a WHOPPING 24 %.

Labour Chancellor Darling's latest cost cutting exercise threatens the Isle of Man's status as a tax haven and completely undermines its economic viability.

Cutting £140 million out of a budget of £572 means that the Manx Government are in danger of losing their Triple AAA credit rating. The cut according to the Government of Keys is non-negotiable.

The island was the first crown dependency to slash corporation tax to zero for all companies except financial institutions, which pay 10%. 

The zero percent tax rate saw an influx of new business to the island, whose 80,000 inhabitants enjoy one of the highest living standards anywhere. 

The teensy weensy little Isle of Man makes more films per year than the rest of the UK, because of the tax breaks available to production companies. Since this first started the Isle of Man has built up a fully functioning well trained  film workforce. This is now under threat.

What is increasingly interesting is the grumblings of the Manx people talking about Independence. 

The fact that tax exiles like Nigel Mansell, Rick Wakeman, Norman Wisdom (possibly Hovis) and sundry industrialists like John Whittaker the publicity shy property developer billionaire behind plans for the contentious new Hunterston coal power station could  be at the heart of an Independence movement is worthy of a great big guffaw.


Darling boobs again. 

Oops he did it again. 


 

Thursday, 22 October 2009

T minus five hours ten minutes.

Some reasons why the BNP should not be on Question Time tonight. 

They have no MEP's,  MP's,  MSP's, Councillors or even community councillors in Scotland. 

They have never saved a single deposit in any electoral contest in Scotland.


So why are BBC Scotland playing Question Time tonight?


BBC Scotland must stand up to BBC London and opt out of this, I suggest they play Schindler's List, which perfectly illustrates what happens when you allow fascists a platform.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

24 Hours after, here we have the BNP take on it. Somehow told you so isn't enough.


3000 new members cry BNP tears.

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

What this seasons fashionable SNP cyclists should be riding in Glasgow North East.









Following Ms Dugdale's rather odd dig at a renegade SNP supporting cyclist for freewheeling his bicycle along the pavement of a Glasgow street, I feel that the above Saltire bike should be the preferred mode of transport for all lycra clad independence supporters. 

Naturally, if you see someone pedalling the above on the pavement do feel compelled to blog about it or even report them to Strathclyde's finest for breaking the transport laws. Alternatively, try to explain how Michael Martin's former agent can claim to live locally when he works in London.


Mayhaps he pedals from London to Springburn...

Evil Nat mows down innocent pedestrians on bike of death.

Margaret Curran, "I've lived and worked in the East End ma whole life, son."

Monday, 19 October 2009

Culture Smack! Ben Nevis, it's a bit of a hill.



Dearie me, the publishers of Culture Smart! Scotland, are getting it in the neck from some of the tabloids this morning. Their crime?

Ben Nevis is a "biggish hill"  

Loch Ness as a "dull waterway".  

Highlanders don't like pork and eat only porridge and Arbroath smokies for breakfast. 

Protestants are so bigoted they refuse to have anything green in their homes.   

Scots plant rowan trees just to ward off witches.  
 
We regard 'fairies as guide neighbours'   

Scotland was once ruled by the 'Steward' dynasty

We're noted for our rudeness and blunt ways, 'To the unprepared their bluntness may seem downright rude. But be warned that these same forthright people can be very touchy and extremely easily offended if you speak to them in the same vein.'

Shetlands Viking pageant is 'Up  Helly Ya' bass


Robert Burns had 'nothing much to say about religion.'  

The author a London based historian and aptly named John Scotney has apologised. His biography reveals an extremely well educated and probably interesting man. All of which beggars the question, what was he thinking of?

The guid guide is sold mostly in the USA and Canada. Personally I'm surprised there is no mention of our cheese eating terrorist appeasing monkeys or our cringe laden unionists supported by the Loyal Orange brotherhood....



http://www.randomhouse.com/author/results.pperl?authorid=74339&view=full_sptlght

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-1221402/Scots-rude-Ben-Nevis-just-big-hill-Loch-Ness-dull-according-new-travel-guide.html

 http://www.thesun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/2688373/Tourist-guide-brands-Scots-drunken-bigots.html

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Incapability Brown


Just what size of a lawn does Gordon Brown have if he spends £12,000 a year on gardening?












In days gone by when a chap made a social faux pas, you know the sort of thing; wore his fob in the wrong waistcoat pocket, invested the family loot in a dodgy railroad or was caught buggering the under butler, the only recourse to infamy was either an insufferable life in exile amongst Johnny foreigner, or a short stroll into an empty room with a loaded service revolver.

Somehow I fear James Gordon Brown lacks the intestinal fortitude for either action....




Friday, 9 October 2009

Come ahead if you think you're hard enough. You're going to get your fucking head kicked in etcetera


These were the delightful images MSP's, Civil Servants, Members of the Public and the viewing audience of dozens of political anoraks watching on BBC Parliament witnessed yesterday, when Iain Gray 'challenged' First Minister Alex Salmond to a debate on Scotland's future on St Andrew's day.


Mr Gray a former secondary school teacher will quite naturally have seen the two handed 'come ahead' gesture many times in the playground and at some of the more rambunctious square goes, often seen in the wee small hours of Labour party conferences boozing dens and naturally amongst combatants in our national sport of street fighting.I was fortunate enough to be in the Chamber and in the canteen after Iain Gray's finest moment. Heads slumped among the thinking Labour MSP's, the writing is definitely on the wall. Iain Grey will no doubt be challenged between the Glasgow by-election and Christmas.

Who will replace him as Leader Labour in the Scottish Parliament?

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

The Scotsman gives up the pretence of impartiality and dons the mask of open propaganda.



The above photograph was used on the front page of today's Scotsman, to illustrate a story on the SNP's willingness to freeze pay rises for top civil servants. The photograph serves no other purpose than to ridicule the First Minister, it's very clever, it appealed to my sense of humour, it's the sort of thing you'd expect to see on the pages of Private Eye. Not as the front cover on a National newspaper in a story addressing the effects of Labour's recession.

It served to remind me how little the Scotsman and Labour have moved on since May 2007. In Errol Morris' wonderful documentary 'The Fog of War', Robert McNamara, JFK's Secretary of Defence said that the first lesson in The Fog of War is to “Empathize with your enemy.” McNamara explained further: “We must try to put ourselves inside their skin and look at us through their eyes, just to understand the thoughts that lie behind their decisions and their actions.” Labour and the egotistical imaginations of the Scotsman have failed to learn this simple lesson.

Friday, 2 October 2009

Loving this wee animation.

As spotted on Go Lassie Go.

A clip from Scottish based Czech animator Jana Prchalova's short Mondo.



Find more videos like this on 38minutes

Monday, 28 September 2009

Luftputefartøyet mitt er fullt av ål with a side order of humble pie for Mr Murphy.

Mighty interesting analysis from The Economist on Norway & the latest IMF Estimates of GDP per Capita at PPP (Purchasing Power Parity) for Iceland, Ireland & Norway (2009-14)

To see them in their full and greater detail click on the link here. http://tinyurl.com/ljm7zw

Do note that in 2014 Norway will have a PPP of $58,610.092


Ireland $42,947.457

Iceland $43,127.063


and poor old Blighty including us ungrateful Scots, will have attained a grand total of $38,807.832


Page 52 of the Economist has the following.

"The economy is in good shape. Unemployment, at 3%, is the lowest in Europe.

"Norway has bounced back from the mild recession it suffered in the early months of this year. It is expected to grow by 2% next year.

"The $400 billion wealth fund that holds surplus revenues from North Sea oil and gas exports, turning petrodollars into hoard of stocks and bonds , naturally took a hit in the market slump but is still worth some $85,000 per citizen.

"The Norwegians are a contented bunch. Bergen reveals handsome, well-fed citizens who work in designer offices or high tech fishing vessels, relax in art galleries and theatres and enjoy pristine scenery. Education is free and health care is heavily subsidised."


Now what was that about an Arc of Insolvency?

Saturday, 26 September 2009

Extremely interesting suggestion.





This could have some legs to it...

http://targetbrown.blogspot.com/

Monday, 21 September 2009

Doctor David Stark-Raving-Twat




David Starkey, the noted telly-historian, think a-sexual Cumbrian Lily Savage sans wig, and you're not far off the mark, has wheeled out yet another diatribe about 'feeble little Scotland'. Fear not, he's allowed to insult Scotland because he spent piss soaked holidays here as a nipper.

http://www.totalpolitics.com/magazine_detail.php?id=573

Here's the latest diatribe. Keep up the good work Dave, you'll soon be free of this feeble little nation and our parasitic ways...

You also sparked controversy with your remarks on Question Time about Scotland being a "feeble little nation".

It was a joke! The question was did I think the English should treat St George's Day the same way the Scots and all the rest of them treat their saints' days - St Andrew, St Patrick and my answer was no. That would mean we would become a feeble little nation like them and we're showing every sign of doing just that. H.G. Wells has this wonderful phrase - "the English are the only nation without national dress". It is a glory that we don't have such a thing. If you want to be academic about it, there are two completely different patterns of nationalism in the British Isles - the Celtic nationalism of Scotland, Wales, Ireland, which is entirely typical nineteenth century European nationalism, an invention based on folklore, supposed authentic peasant cultures which are entirely fictional, national dress, national music and some goddamn awful national poet like Burns. English nationalism went through that phase under Henry VIII.
But if you do really want me to go back to being abusive - I would say that Scotland's decisions with the Libyan bomber confi rms everything I said about them. If you want to see what happens when a country becomes 'little' - when you have a government that wouldn't make county councillors in England, and a Minister of Justice that is an underemployed solicitor - that's what you get. And I am not anti-Scottish, I love Scotland - my childhood holidays were there - apart from that fact it pissed with rain all the time. But Scotland's greatness took place not in medieval history when it was a catastrophe of a place, but in its long, long association with England and Britain. The transformation of Scotland from this deeply backward Presbyterian horror of the early 17th century - where you still hang a lad in the 1690s for denying the existence of the Devil - to this extraordinary 'Athens of the North' of the Scottish enlightenment, the amazing products of Glasgow University in the 18th century, is when Scotland looks out as part of a greater whole. What's happened of course is that Scotland is now looking in. It has become exactly like medieval Scotland - the clannishness, the introversion, chucking money at the Edinburgh Festival to make it 'more Scottish', that awful Parliament, the dreadful Parliament building. The self-indulgence of the whole thing, the complete sense of in-growing toenail; I mean Edinburgh has turned into a city where you can see its toes growing in.


Sunday, 20 September 2009

Nutty Professor.



Normally I've got a wee bit of time for Prof John Curtice, the amiable professor of politics at Strathyclyde Uni. Mostly because he reminds me of Prof Heinz Wolf the part sinister clown - part explainer of things scientificy/black magic that was mostly beyond my childhood ken.


However, amidst this morning's frothing and ranting at the claims of 'opportunism' and 'desperation' at the 'news' that the SNP want to include 16 and 17 year old people in the democratic process by allowing them to vote in the probable referendum. (Despite it being passed at Conference in 2007) Prof Curtice was sought out for his views by the Sunday Mail. Following a carping comment or two from professional gut wrencher Pauline McNeill, this is what we read:

http://www.sundaymail.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2009/09/20/over-16s-set-to-be-allowed-to-vote-in-independence-referendum-78057-21687204/

Elections expert Professor John Curtice, of Strathclyde University, said: "I don't think this will make a difference to the outcome of the planned referendum.

"Support for independence is so far behind the SNP don't have a chance of winning."

"And I don't think many of this age group will turn up to vote."

Now colour me fucked off, but surely the 'neutral' Prof Curtice should have been proffering his academic views on the expansion of democracy, citing the historical and geographical precedents within these very isles where 16 years olds who pay taxes can also vote, rather than playing at crystal ball gazing by determining the result and promoting the lazy kneejerk reaction of teen apathy?

His entire learned view can be summed up thus.

1. It won't make a difference.

2. Ye cannae win

3. Teenagers don't care. Meh.

Now obviously the journo responsible selected these points as those which fitted the biased timbre of his article, but really Prof Curtice you should have known better.

I just hope that from now on when I see Glen Campbell parting your tweeds I can still hear a slightly discordant resonance of the following tune... :(


Friday, 18 September 2009

Megrahi's appeal document. Interesting reading...

http://www.megrahimystory.net/

Thursday, 17 September 2009

Gutter press - utter piss.





No doubt tomorrow's Hootsman will have a David Maddox story telling us how FMQ's today, saw Alex Salmond cowed by Iain Gray's magnificent oratory, how John Swinney swooned under the intense intellectual pressure from Angry Kerr and how Jim Mather swallowed a little bit of sick when Jackie the Hutt glared at him.

Naturally, Maddog's interpretation will differ widely from those who were there, those who witnessed it on tv and those who participated. However, fear not David Maddox is on a one man mission to thwart those pesky Nats and preserve the Union for the glory of Gordon Brown and Donald Dewar. At what cost?

Yet with each day the Scottish press lose another reader, another subscriber, another income stream. Advertisers notice, columnists start looking elsewhere, jings we've even had the supposed big boys in Scottish journalism bending over backwards for PR/Marketing jobs with South Lanarkshire cooncil.

This year has truly been the anus gapingus for journos with an unprecedented number taking a sabbatical , redundancy, retirement, career break or heading out into the brave new world of the freelance.

And still their blatts continue to peddle the same old shite, albeit with worse spelling and terrible grammar. Hey that's what happens when you let the night shift managers African sunset haired step-son play at being a proof reader.

It gives me no pleasure to give you a roll call of some of the good and great of Scottish journalism who have fallen by the side this year. Amongst them are some pukka scriveners, people with the great ability to turn strokes on a page into a lifetime of memories. I salute them. If only their editors would grow some balls and report news as it is supposed to be....fair and impartial.

Now is Maddox really better than any of these people?

Thanks to AMS for the list.

Oh don't forget recently departed columnists Rab McNeill, Ewan Morrisson and Hardeep Singh Kohli.

Mike Aitken, former sportswriter, The Scotsman; now "taking a career break until I decide what to do next".
David Belcher, former TV critic, The Herald; now “attempting to write a radio sitcom set in the mythical Ayrshire village of Dumfoonert (it has a newspaper, oddly enough), while also assembling an internet radio soul show for Radio Six International”.
David Bennett, former sub-editor at The Herald; now running a website design and content management company, fuzzylime.co.uk - with former Herald assistant chief sub-editor, Jill Ledgerwood.
Ian Bruce, former defence correspondent, The Herald; now "enjoying an extended sabbatical".
Alison Chiesa, former news reporter, The Herald; now: “Blissfully living the simpler life. Home is now a converted horsebox on an organic farm commune in Norway. Amid spectacular scenery, days are filled driving a tractor, milking cows, keeping bees, resuscitating dying ducklings, etc, etc. Will soon move on to Sweden to help build an artists' retreat centre - and think of new ways to stretch the career break out as long as I can.”
Sandra Colamartino, former editor, Homes & Interiors Scotland; now producing chocolate bars in bespoke, book-like, high-quality wrapping: Chocolate Library.
Bob Dow, former Aberdeen bureau chief, Daily Record; now operating as Bob Dow Media, doing some writing, some media training/PR work and some emergency response work for oil companies in Aberdeen.
Sarah Ferguson, former sub-editor, The Herald; now page editor at The National, in Abu Dhabi.
Philip Gates, former assistant chief sub editor, The Herald; now a part-time freelance sub-editor, part-time house husband, and also retraining in web design and e-commerce.
Bill Henry, former senior photographer, Edinburgh Evening News; now retired, after 19 years with the paper. "Being lazy at the moment but am working on a few projects where I live, in Cumbernauld."
Julia Horton, former Edinburgh-based reporter, The Herald; now travelling, including New Zealand and South America (where she is currently, learning Spanish).
Michael Howie, former home affairs correspondent, The Scotsman; about to learn Spanish in Madrid, before heading to Central and South America to travel and freelance.
Allan Laing, former reporter/feature writer/columnist/travel editor/assistant news editor, The Herald; now running his own business, All In a Day's Work, specialising in journalism, TV research and investigation, media training and fast-response PR projects. Plus annual reports, company brochures and speeches. Visit www.allinaworkingday.co.uk
Jill Ledgerwood, former assistant chief sub-editor at The Herald; now running a website design and content management company, fuzzylime.co.uk - with former Herald sub-editor, David Bennett.
David Lee, former senior assistant editor, The Scotsman; now a freelance media consultant.
Ross Lydall, former political editor, The Scotsman; now freelancing, the Evening Standard.
Hamish Macdonell, former Scottish political editor, The Scotsman; now freelance political commentator.
Bill Mackintosh, former head of news, Sunday Herald; now freelancing, concentrating on writing about whisky for a number of magazines, and helping one whisky group with its internal communications.
Donald MacLeod, former chief photographer, The Scotsman/Scotland on Sunday; now a news and features freelancer.
Alistair McArthur, former deputy editor, Scottish Business Insider; now freelancing.
Peter John Meiklem, former media and business correspondent, the Sunday Herald; now "writing a whodunit set on the Moroccan tourist trail and getting ready for a year teaching English in Argentina".
Simon Murphy, former senior photographer, The Herald Magazine; now set up as a freelancer, www.simonmurphyphotographer.com, working as a commercial and editorial photographer,
signed with camerapress agency, and waiting on the imminent arrival of his first child.
Stephen Penman, former deputy editor, Sunday Herald; now head of corporate communications and marketing, North Lanarkshire Council.
Alan Rennie, former editor, Stirling Observer; now, after 26 years as editor and taking retirement, about to begin work, as 'project delivery officer', for the local, Going Carbon Neutral team.
Jonathan Rennie, former business editor, Evening Times, and senior writer across The Herald and Times Group; now senior account manager, Weber Shandwick.
Graeme Smith, former north-east reporter, The Herald; now operating as Graeme Smith Media, a freelance writer specialising in the energy industry but also involved in emergency response work, training and PR-related work.
Stuart Sommerville, former sub-editor, The Scotsman; now freelance editor and writer, and "taking orders from" baby Isabella.
Caroline Stewart, former sub editor and gardens writer, The Scotsman; now, thanks to a voluntary redundancy package and "after 12 years hogging the 5pm-1am shift, decided to give others a chance and am now enjoying a new shift starting at 7am looking after baby, Isabella".
Laura Sutherland, former showbiz reporter, Daily Record; now, account executive at Edinburgh PR agency, Holyrood Partnership.
Richard Wilson, former sports and Ecosse writer, Sunday Times Scotland; now writing a book, for Canongate, on the Old Firm, and working regularly, as a freelance sports writer, for the Independent on Sunday and the Sunday Herald.
John Young, former group multimedia editor, Herald & Times Group; now running YoungMedia.co.uk, specialising in corporate and PR photography and multimedia.

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Monday, 14 September 2009

In race to bottom of cringe bucket Harris Tweed Hebrides win race.





This morning's story of Harris Tweed Hebrides 'de-Scottishifying' themselves was either an evil genius stroke of marketing or a deliberate attempt to disembowel Scotland with a grovelling attempt to distance themselves from the Megrahi decision and the now overwhelming number of people who support Kenny MacAskill's decision to release Megrahi to die with his family. If latest reports are true it sounds as if Megrahi has got days rather than the year, that the Labour party and their friends in the Scottish media have been pedalling.

However, I digress, as usual, what annoyed me most about this story other than the lets drop our Tweed breeks bend over and see how much girth we can take from the right wing redneck nut jobs of America was the people involved.

Notably devout anti-devolutionist and former Labour Energy Minister Brian Wilson chairman and majority shareholder of Harris Tweed Hebrides Ltd, Alasdair Morrison former Labour MSP for Eilean Siar, current chairman of MG Alba and director of Harris Tweed
Hebrides Ltd, whilst the creative director and professional pretty boy model Mark Hogarth is the fashionista who made the decision to deny their Scottish links was previously employed in London as Brian Wilson's parliamentary assistant.

Such a cozy coterie of lizards...


Mr Hogarth's decision it appears is at odds with his deliberations on Facebook, where he is said to have flipped and flopped about on the Megrahi decision siding with the dribbling mentalism of Labour one moment then agreeing with facebook friends that really Labour are wrong and Scotland has grown up with this decision...


One wonders what the weavers of Lewis and Harris think?





Monday, 7 September 2009

Thursday, 3 September 2009

Thou treachorous Bachi Bazoukes, girning Anacalouthes, peddlars of lies and false dawns. A curse on your flaccid cocks.


O Lord my God, that glib tongued Aitken,

Who's very heart and flesh are quaking,

To think how Brown sat, sweating, shaking,

And pissed wi dread,

While Gray wi hinging lip gaed sneaking,

And hid his head.

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Broon says "Scottish Government". Has hell frozen over?



Will his script writer be removed to a gulag on Tristan de Cunha?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8233846.stm

Monday, 31 August 2009

J'Accuse

On reading today's Scotsman, I couldn't help but let out a sigh of sheer ennui, when I read their latest biased reporting on the SNP Government.

"SNP ACCUSED OF DRINK CRACKDOWN...BY STEALTH!"



The headline had me envisioning a crack team of Ninja's swooping into bars, supermarkets and off-licenses and stealthily removing drinks from gaping maws.



Naturally, this is just more bollocks from the Unionist friendly Johnson Press who let no opportunity pass without first using their modus operandi of attacking the SNP Government and its members.


I embarked on stealth google using the exact phrase "SNP Accused" this returned a rather even numbered 11,000 hits.


I added the word 'Scotsman' to the search. This returned 6,780 hits.


Further filtering using the word 'Labour' produced 5,270 instances.

It occurs to me that when you overuse a word or a phrase it becomes devalued, often meandering over to the world of satire, e.g, 'won't somebody think of the children?'. Admirable sentiments, but used to the point of cliché the meaning becomes redundant.

I imagine when the voters of Scotland hear Iain Gray, saying things like, "If I was First Minister..."
This would be the general reaction.



Sunday, 30 August 2009

As played in France every July 14th...



German version!







Mary doll dumped by Sunday Mail.



It appears that the Sunday Mail, have thrown off the last vestiges of objective journalism and dropped their sole Independence supporting columnist Elaine C Smith.

According to the Scottish Independence Convention Ms Smith, the convenor, has discovered that her pro-independence opinions are no longer welcome. The last column she submitted, supporting Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill's decision to release El-Megrahi on compassionate grounds was pulled at the very last minute.


Bruce Waddell.

If you feel that the grand poobah, Bruce Waddell, the editor in chief has erred in this decision, by all means demonstrate your ire by writing to mailbox@sundaymail.co.uk or for the more voluble please call 0141 309 3000.



Thursday, 27 August 2009

Have you seen this country?





www.newsbiscuit.com/2009/08/25/scotland-missing-cia-snatch-squad-suspected/


Sources from within the American intelligence community have this morning confirmed that Scotland, reported missing by concerned relatives on Friday night, was arrested by the CIA for aiding and abetting terrorists and has been spirited away to a secret interrogation centre somewhere in Europe.

The country, which until this weekend occupied the northern third of the United Kingdom, was initially believed by police investigating its disappearance to have gone on a drinking binge and wandered off towards Scandinavia, despite protests from friends that this behaviour was nothing but a stereotype and in fact completely out of character.

Suspicions of American involvement were raised after the residents of Berwick-upon-Tweed reported seeing a number of men wearing black suits and sunglasses climbing into an unmarked van, which drove off in a northerly direction. ‘I thought it was a Blues Brothers tribute band going to a show in Dunbar,’ claimed one eyewitness, ‘that was until I heard that Scotland had suddenly gone missing and put two and two together.’

Alarm bells began to ring further south after The Proclaimers mysteriously failed to turn up at a gig at the HMV Apollo in Hammersmith. This caused the British government to strongly deny any complicity in Scotland’s incarceration, with Prime Minister Gordon Brown breaking his silence on the issue by telling reporters ‘It’s got nothing to do with me pal.’


In a carefully worded statement the US intelligence agency declared: ‘a country is currently being held in American custody and is assisting our investigation of the harboring and subsequent release of a known Libyan terrorist. Said country is being treated humanely and will be allowed to return home in due course.’

However many political commentators remain unconvinced, citing the CIA’s previous form, including the alleged rough treatment of certain Pakistani tribal states, the unexplained bruises on Iraq uncovered during a routine health check and the well-documented discovery of Panama floating face-down in the Caribbean in 1989. A former CIA agent further fuelled worries for Scotland’s safety after telling an undercover journalist ‘I’ll tell you one thing for certain; Scotland won’t be so bonny by the time they’ve finished with it.’

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

The Silent Majority have spoken.

Since these will probably be pulled as soon as the editors and publishers realise that they are completely out of step with the mood of the public. I thought it best to save them and post here. Anyone with similar polls from their local paper point me in their direction.

Dumfries Standard 26th August 2009



Kilmarnock Standard 26th August 2009




Hamilton Advertiser 26th August 2009






The Oban Times 26th August 2009

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Annie Hamilton a poundland Anne Coulter.

The following is a column by Annie Hamilton a rather delightful racist, bigot, islam-o-phobe, racist who writes for the San Jose Examiner. I suggest everyone have a read at it and if you feel inclined send her a little message in the comments section. I've already uncurled a three pounder into a jiffy bag.

Isn't it odd that there's a particular brand of septic nutjob commentator that always has Scottish surnames. Maybe the Clearances weren't a bad idea after all.

http://www.examiner.com/x-5740-San-Jose-Republican-Examiner~y2009m8d24-Where-are-all-the-men-letter-to-Secretary-Macaslin-regarding-dumb-decisionmaking

another image....
Dear Secretary MacAskill:

Although it pains me to witness the ridicule deservedly heaped upon your shoulders well as fellow apologist and twit, PM Gordon Brown, it simply illustrates how liberals are able to twist compassion into something nonsensical.

How you’ve managed to walk straight without bumping into walls, let alone keep your job, following your doltish decision to allow Al-Megrahi, to return to his native Libya, despite the conviction and life sentence handed down for his part in the biggest mass murder to take place in British legal history has triggered fury amongst Americans and most of the relatives of the 270 people killed in 1988. Frankly, I just have a few questions and observations as your decision hardly shocks me. Our 2008 Presidential election has opened America’s eyes to the numerous oafish decisions of its’ own Administration, so obviously fraught with mental and intellectual herpes.

It seems as though the rational strategy would be to immediately remove you from the Scottish government, on grounds that you are discernibly lacking the cognitive and moral aptitude to accomplish much more than dodging alcohol-related convictions or busying yourself with everyday nose-picking tasks. As such, perhaps we then we ought to start calling for your government to be dismantled until new elections can take place. In addition, our U.S. Justice Department ought to indict you for aiding and abetting the escape of a known convicted felon, with the UK/Scottish leadership waiving any sovereign immunity defense or other related privilege asserted. This would send the appropriate message to the weenies throughout Europe as well as Islam that when you blow up a plan carrying damn near 100 % Americans, there are consequences beyond a political circle jerk. In addition, you should then be extradited to the US for your trial prior to serving both your sentence as well as the remaining 19 years of al-Megrahi’s.

Now, THAT would be justice, rather than the dog and pony show you forced the world to witness the other day, complete with private plane and hero’s welcome. Short of execution, the only justifiable remedy for a turd like al-Megrahi is to cage him without the possibility of future freedom. While it’s understandable that Gordon Brown has been frantically searching for his testacles since Daniel Hannan called his stupidity out before the world, it's hardly escaped my notice that despite your gun ban, your crimes are not only through the roof but that 80 % of them go unsolved. And people wonder why Europe is being overrun by Radical Islam! Or perhaps it’s your naiveté? I mean, please, ‘Mad Dog’ denounces Islam although he’s been linked to a half-dozen attacks killing Americans, including the Pan Am 103 bombing over Lockerbie, Scotland and still you spineless imbeciles have chosen instead to bend over for Shariah law?

Your apparent excuse for letting this animal out of his cage was a ‘death sentence’ of three months for prostate cancer given by a British doctor? So what’s your point? Who cares that he’s ill? Now that he’s out of prison, and out of YOUR hair, he can always come on over to the US for free care. What the hell, we provide it to everyone else. We’re not naive; you easily could have released him to unburden your floundering economy from his prostate cancer treatments in a classic example of health care rationing. Why stick the Queen with the bill when Uncle Sam will do it? (Naturally we will, we're the same idiots that voted a radical Muslim into office…although I’m fairly certain many of his voters are either victims of fetal alcohol syndrome or should be wearing fitted helmets)

While it shocked me to hear that Kenya’s finest had taken the time away from his frantic schedule of wiping out our economy, cuddling with dictators and trying to kill America's elderly long enough to comment on how your decision to free fellow ass-clown Abdel Baset al-Megrahi was a mistake and that’ he should really be under house arrest’, a statement that got a chuckle out of al-Megrahi..The spineless teleprompter-dependent President de facto did manage to put terror into the hearts of Libyans, and al Qaeda everywhere, issuing a ‘stern’ warning that they had’ better not give him a hero's welcome!’

Patriots everywhere consider it a colossal mistake and missed opportunity to not have had a plainclothes sniper pop this worthless blow-up doll before he had the chance to board the private plane set for the pastures of pedophiles and alpha goat lovers.

Saif al Islam Gaddafi said that Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al Megrahi’s return was deemed a “victory” for all Libyans, Seif al-Islam announcing to Libyan TV that the potential release in the case had been raised 'as a point of negotiation' during talks over oil and gas, international news reported. The UK Foreign Office has strongly denied the claims, Secretary Miliband denouncing the allegations as ‘slurs’ “There is no such deal. All negotiations pertaining to this case have been exclusively in the hands of Scottish ministers, the Crown Office in Scotland and the Scottish judicial authorities.“ Right! That’s why in 2007 Tony Blair concluded a prisoner transfer agreement with Libya!

The public has been asking Brown for a statement although he’s remained silent. Perhaps a better question to pose to this Prime Minister is if all incarcerated mass murderers should be given freedom, as long as they’re 1) diagnosed with a terminal illness and 2) have killed fewer than 270 people? If so, what if the person was Ted Bundy, Jack the Ripper or Jeffrey Dahmer? Their victims didn’t reach numbers anywhere near 270?

I’m curious, though, Mr. Secretary…Why did you really release this monster? Is it because you’re ignorant as to the true nature of Islam? Were you all involved in an international transaction, using a terrorist’s freedom as currency? Or something more personal, like your drinking? Obviously anyone capable of reading knows that in ’99 you were detained in London during a sporting event for being drunk and disorderly…and other whispering often follows you, although you weren’t formally charged with anything and you did manage to squeak through another election successfully. Or perhaps it’s your four –time failure to win a seat in Westminster? Or did you stick it to us because of Obama’s amateurish savoir-faire earlier this year germane to the Churchill bust as well as treating the diplomatic gift exchange like a white elephant raffle at the neighborhood trailer park?? I mean, we were mortified but you must have been privately amused by his inexperienced buffoonery and embarrassing stretch of confidence common to other wannabe leaders and ghetto thugs who clearly were raised by people without values or who tend to surround themselves with trashy, unsavory characters.

Your iniquitous decision heartens global terrorists everywhere who may now deduce that regardless of the quality of the investigation or conviction they can be freed by one heedless man's exercise of lunacy. Your dispassionate esteem for human life makes a mockery of the emotions and efforts of everyone affected by the Lockerbie tragedy and multi-decade ordeal that now shall have no closure, despite a financial settlement. This is not justice. And what else have you accomplished? Sending a murderer to a hero’s welcome, turning your country into the laughing stock of western Europe, teaching radicals everywhere that Shariah does, indeed, outrank anyone else’s legal system? If so, hooray for you! Perhaps you can get together with the boys in DC and discuss it over a beer at the white house.

Keep in mind, though, that we have your number. You and your flaccid regime that wouldn’t have defeated the Falklands without the aid of the US and then President Reagan (a real man, rather than a limp excuse for a commander such as currently plagues both the US/UK) After the stunt you pulled, it would be entertaining to see Argentina yank the Falklands back and watch you squirm waiting to see if we’re going to show up to aid you yet again.

My last point is this, Secretary MacAskill: Get it through your thick skull that Islamic terrorists don’t give a rat’s ass about compassion or kindness. These are not ‘positive’ attributes to this group. The only thing you’ve done is to beautifully set yourself up for another failure and attack, while taking others with you. It’s not your right to act with such disregard toward your fellow man.

And the next time there is such an attack, be it the IRA, al Qaeda or a random event, it may kill a family member….then how compassionate will you be? Or perhaps that’s precisely the point and why you’re in forever bondage to England? You’re incapacity of running a country unsupervised.

Regards,

Annie Hamilton

Smell the cheese.

Smell the cheese.
Former vile blogger Montague Burton aka Mark MacLachlan

The equally bored.

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Colour me chuffed.

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Thanks to everyone who made up their own mind.

Children in tweed.

Children in tweed.
14th place. Thanks again to everyone with a pulse and a brain.

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