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Ed: Just look straight ahead before he goes off on one.
Iain frightens Ed, because he always seems angry. Iain has been on holiday to lots of dangerous places, Ed likes that, he wants to go to Cambodistan and Rwangola. He doesn't like Chilli it's too burny burny. Iain smells of cigarettes. Cigarettes are bad. But Ed's friends say that Iain is popular so they say that he has to meet Iain and go for a walk with him.
Where is Giggity's rosette?
There'll be opportunities to play in a helicopter and meet 'real people' you know sort of people with accents and fit like. His friends Danny and Jimmy played in a helicopter with him on a holiday to Afghanibob, where they played at being soldiers and the silly sausages put their rucksacks on back to front.
Come on chaps the Killing filelds are just over there.
Ed diver: Thank Christ safe from his breath.
When Ed and Ian have stopped playing with helicopters they'll take the train to Dundee. Ed likes trains, but he doesn't like sitting beside smelly real people. But when people with cameras follow Ed all day, it's best to pretend that he likes the real people, that's why his friends run around and remove the 1st class headrest covers from his seat. Ed's friend, big Ed, didn't like it when they hid the 1st class covers under his seat. He threatened to twat little Ed next time they're alone. Ed had a bit of wee come on his pants.
Big Ed: Smile all you want, I'll fuckin' have you, you twat.
Girls like Ed. Iain says he can fix him up with a real girl in Dundee.
Oh good no teeth.