In her whimsy infused column, the 'Sunday Mail's Jackie Bird' deigns to deliver her views on societies big stories of the week. The above article was written as a response to the startling news that Downing Street had employed the skills of an experienced cat to rid them of their rat problem. Ms Bird, using that as her cue transported the reader to a furry land where Scottish politicians are portrayed as cats. Yoiks what fun!
Here's how our impartial newsreader sees the situation:
Tiger Salmond, the SNP cat: "Look, Larry, my man, in an independent Scotland you would have your rats and we would have ours. Problem sorted. Excuse me, if you don't mind I'll just have another lick of my cream. Now, where was I? Oh yes, in an independent Scotland, cream. Cream for all & cream for every man woman and child, and, of course, cat. There would be cream coming out of the taps, cream in the puddles..."
I like a joke, I love ripping the piss out of pomposity wherever I see it. I think I've developed a sense of what's funny and obversely what's downright insidious. I don't see the above as a light hearted joke at the expense of Salmond. I see it as a yet another in a long line of scathing attacks used by cringe infused Scottish journalists who seek to portray Salmond as being of the chocolate tea pot self munching variety. The idiom of 'the cat who got the cream' is commonly interpreted as being, one who is oh so satisfied and arrogant with themselves and displays an overtly smug mien...Remember in Scotland our journos don't like confident people, mind we kent his faither...
Tabby Gray, the Scottish Labour cat was unavailable, however, we found this statement tied to a lamppost: "Missing - Tabby Gray. Our adorable Tabby disappeared from the Scottish Labour party HQ some time ago.
Now wrap me in tinsel, roll me down a hill and call me a fat Christian, but doesn't the above sound like a plea from the impartial publically funded BBC veteran news reader for the leader of the North British Regional Labour parliamentary group to up his game in the fast approaching Scottish Parliamentary election?
Now some of you may remember that waaaay back in 2003 the BBC big boys in thatLondon got into all sorts of problems when BBC Radio 4 reporter Andrew Gilligan broadcast an item about prospective war criminal Tony Blair and his team of acolytes 'sexing up' the document which led to Dr Kelly's mysterious homo-sui-cide. Gilligan went on to repeat his allegation in his column in the Mail on Sunday. The beeb were simply battered by Blair and Campbell for having the temerity to utter the allegation in the first place, as a sop to stop the bloodletting the Beeb executives decreed that BBC employees could no longer have outside paid gigs. This led to complaints and weapons grade whinging from the likes of Paxman and Humphries. The beeb senior execs stamped their little teeth and roared their little roars and won the day. Their top tier talent were rewarded for loss of outside earnings with eyewatering bonuses and peace settled over Broadcasting House.
So with the fact that BBC broadcasting talent are not supposed to have outside work, particularly that which conflicts with their publically paid work, in mind I wrote to the BBC Audience Council Scotland acs@bbc.co.uk, the BBC Scotland Director Ken.MacQuarrie@bbc.co.uk and ACS chairman and BBC board of Governors director
This is what I sent
Dear Sir, I am intrigued to discover that BBC Reporting Scotland news ‘anchor’ Jackie Bird has paid employment outside of the corporation which I believe conflicts with her impartial role at the BBC.
Ms Bird writes a column for the Sunday Mail, a profoundly self-avowed pro-Labour newspaper. Her recent 'blog' post for the newspapers online content entitled. 'Claws come out as top cat Larry makes mark.' is diametrically opposed to her unbiased and apolitical role within the BBC.
I include the link below for you to assess for yourself whether her descriptions of both Messrs Salmond and Gray is appropriate for one who is employed to read the news in an unbiased fashion.
http://blogs.dailyrecord.co.uk/jackiebird/2011/02/claws-come-out-as-top-cat-larry-makes-ma.html
I recall that the BBC took a stringent policy stance against their on-screen and on-air talent profiting from their publicly paid profile by moonlighting for private companies. Most notably BBC Reporter Andrew Gilligan and the uproar that followed his freelance ‘sexing up the WMD dossier’ column in the Mail on Sunday caused.
For your reference I include the link to the Guardian’s media column which reports that the BBC Governors resolved to take the initiative to force their presenters to choose between their freelance newspaper columns and their work for the corporation, following a meeting in Cardiff on November 27th 2003.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2003/nov/28/pressandpublishing.davidkelly
Surely some seven years on the BBC have not fudged the issue?
yours sincerely
yadda yadda yadda (that's not my real name I'm just a Seinfeld fan)
A week later I received a reply from the very friendly Jackie who works for Mr McQuarrie:
Sent: Wed, 2 Mar 2011 14:40
Subject: FW: Outside earnings for BBC employees.
Dear Mr MacLachlan,
This is to acknowledge your e-mail sent to ACS.
Your e-mail has been forwarded to the Head of News & Current affairs for
his views and a full response will follow.
A week later and no word back, I sent the following:
Dear Jackie,
Just wondering if there's been any response yet?
regards
Mark
Jackie wrote back within a couple of hours. (I really like her she's very people orientated compared to lots of Beeb wonks.)
Hi Mark - checking this out with colleagues in News and will get back to you asap.
Jackie
So fast forward five days and lo and behold the clouds did part, a mighty rumble was heard in the land and Head of News and Current affairs had cast aside such thoughts of triathlon's and lycra and did reply, here's what he said:
Hi Mark, Please see below response from Atholl Duncan, Head of News & Current Affairs. Jackie Dear Mr MacLachlan, Thank you for contacting us regarding Jackie Bird's recent column in the Sunday Mail. Ms Bird is a freelance journalist and broadcaster. She is not a member of BBC staff. She earns her income from a number of different sources and while we are careful to monitor outside activities we do not have a rule preventing such activities. In other words, there's no blanket prohibition on BBC presenters having outside writing commitments. The issue is more around the content of what they might be writing. In particular, presenters or reporters should not write columns on politically controversial subjects in which they express a personal political opinion or take a side in a politically controversial debate. I have reviewed the column http://blogs.dailyrecord.co.uk/jackiebird/2011/02/claws-come-out-as-top- cat-larry-makes-ma.html I would regard the content as being humorous rather than controversial or expressing a political opinion. It is a satirical, light hearted piece about Larry the Downing Street cat. The references to "Tiger Salmond" "Tabby Gray" and ""Scrummy, the Scottish Rugby Union's resident moggie" could not be regarded as serious political comment but more light hearted fun. Surely even in the serious business of Scottish politics it must be important to keep one's sense of humour ?
Needless to say I haven't replied to Mr Duncan's question. Whilst I profoundly disagree with his interpretation that Ms Bird's column is merely light hearted fun. I'm a tad more gobsmacked to discover that the great get out is that our very own Jackie Bird is not a member of the BBC staff and therefore not subject to the same rules and guidelines that might govern other less fiscally rewarded talent.
Now if any of our political parties are slightly taken aback at this relevation, I would hope that some smart but lowly paid bod is currently hot footing it to the Freedom of Information guidleines and determining just how much money Jackie Bird is paid out of public funds as a freelance journalist and broadcaster, oh and also asking Mr Duncan how many other people in the on-air 'Talent' pool are paid on a freelance basis. I'd also be interested to know just how much David Robertson was paid in compensation to stop him talking about the alleged spats between him and his older then co-anchor...
The last thing I want is for Ms Bird to vanish from our screens in a David Robertson 'get it round ye' hissy fit style. Now naturally if her contract were to mysteriously end overnight and one of those bright young avaricious talents like 2007 Labour list candidate Catriona Renton or the rather delightfully gothic and eligible Catriona Shearer were to take her place, I'd still look forward to seeing her at the plethora of after dinner engagements which she habitually attends for money. I'm sure the nation would be up in arms at the loss of this latter day Our Lady of St Mary Marquis...
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