Now that Audit Scotland and Strathclyde Polis have decided that there is absolutely 'nothing to see here, move along please', with regards to any investigation into the assorted ne'er do wells that were spotted hanging around the wraith that was Steven Purcell. Establishment Scotland can now go back to sleep delighted that a line has been drawn in the sand and they don't have to answer any tricky questions from competent and probacious men.
The assorted coke fiends, nightclub owners, football shareholders, wealthy local businessmen, hangers on and Labour party placemen suited and booted in arms length quangos can continue as before, safe in the knowledge that they can continue to hump the public purse with gay abandon, much as they have done since their forefaither's persuaded the electorate that they were ra people's party.
The one question that those who are unsatisfied with being force fed bullshit by our media want answered, is where is Steven Purcell? As the prodigiously prescient Ms Go Lassie Go stated in her Sunday Times (Scotland) column last weekend, "if the Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, had vanished in similar circumstances, we would hear of little else." Yet, Mr Purcell has indeed vanished, our medi placated by the mystic runes strewn by Media House inferring that he will be Homo Sacer for at least a year. By which time he will be a mere curious but sad footnote in the history of civic Scotland. So where is he? We're told Australia, Spain, the States (no doubt in anticipation of another five star Lady Ga Ga performance), is he sitting in a semi-detached in Bothwell twitching at net curtains...or is he in the sunny Cayman Islands?
Obviously the Cayman Islands came into the equation after Messrs Irvine and Watson flew out first class for a consultation with the Cayman Islands government, who are trying to persuade Gordon Brown that threatening offshore tax-free enclaves around the world is not a good idea. Especially if a lot of your donors have homes and companies registered there.
So do any wealthy Scottish individuals have homes or businesses registered in the Cayman Islands? Is there a Scottish community there? Are there any Scottish place names or house names, that might suggest some kind soul who might have a spare room where Mr Purcell can rest his weary head in?
You would be amazed what a dedicated half hour of google trawling can bring up when you cross reference search Scotland and the Caymans. Apparently the local accent has both a Scottish lilt and a brogue. Scottish missionaries arrived in the 1840's setting up Presbyterian kirks there and in neighbouring Jamaica, naturally there's also a Grand Masonic lodge. The island is peppered with Scottish street names and houses, Kintyre, Turnberry, Walker, Strathvale, the Kirk supermarket, Glenwood, Dunedin, Bonnie View estates, jings there's even a place called Hell Road and Purcell Port!
It's really quite a remarkable place, somewhere that has been chosen as the seventh best place in the world for the wealthy to reside.
Now if any news hound were curious to start looking through the Cayman Governments website with particular regard to the gazettes section wherein various companies and holdings are registered, they might find some seriously interesting names, some of which have been noted in the past for their largesse towards ra people's party.
If the above doesn't contain enough clues for our 'Where's Stevo?' competition, this might help:
Coordinates: 19°17'57"N 81°22'54"W
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