Vote twat.

At a time of economic crises, expenses sleaze, electoral meltdown, global warming, plague, pestilence and famine. It's good to know that my MP is doing his very best for the people of Dumfrie. I don't know whether it's the subject matter or the illiterate style it's been crayoned in, but sheeesh!


MP tackles sticky gum problem

Dumfries and Galloway's Labour MP is tackling the sticky problem of discarded gum on streets and pavements.

Russell Brown has written to top gum manufacturer Wrigley urging to invest in biodegradable alternatives.

He believes it is wrong for local authorities to have to pick up the bill for cleaning up gum. He has invested in researching biodegradable gum.

http://tinyurl.com/ljtxxt

Having finally mastered the idiots guide to loading video, I present the brilliant bcnsco's 'Preserve the Union'.

Fuar's ma mince?

Needs more plays, get doon wi the chielmaster.

We are Devo.

Tomorrow, we witness the SNP - Plaid Cymru debate calling on the dissolution of the UK parliament. Potentially if enough Labour MP's grow a spine, the SNP and PC could bring down a Labour Government leading to a Conservative government. Sound familiar?

All my political life, I've heard Labourites whine that it was the SNP who brought down the Callaghan Labour Government in 1979, which lead to Thatcher and the decimation of Scotland's heavy industries. The vile old Willie Ross accusation of Tartan Tories has been thrown about with great gusto.

Try telling them that Callaghan made no mention of the SNP in his retirement biography and it falls on deaf ears, try telling them that the reason the SNP put down a motion of censure in the Commons was down to the work of conniving anti-Devolutionist Scottish Labour MP's and you have the full on digits in ears whistling Land of Hope and Glory mentalism.

In 1974 using the "It's Scotland's Oil" slogan- the SNP were on a high with 11 Westminster seats - it looked as if the SNP were unstoppable, and that Scotland was on its way to independence.

One person south of the border truly hated the very idea of Devolution, step forward Hilda Margaret Thatcher. When Harold Wilson launched his Devolution Bill to create elected Assemblies in Scotland and Wales, Thatcher whipped the Tory troops into line. Edward Heath (who had promised a Scottish assembly) fumed and sulked on the back benches, Malcolm Rifkind and the late Alick Buchanan-Smith resigned from the shadow cabinet.

In 1976 Harold Wilson's devolution bill sailed through the Commons with a majority of 45, only the Tories were opposed. All looked rosy only for it to founder in Committee in 1977. It was replaced by two separate Bills, one for Scotland and one for Wales.



In January 1978, the 32 yeard old ginger garden gnome Robin Cook, came up with a lovely wheeze, chummying up to his tame stooge, George Cunningham, the Scottish-born MP for Islington South, the pair concocted a plan to scupper the planned referendum. With the support of five Labour MPs including Old Etonian Tam Dalyell they managed to insert into the devolution bill the reservation that unless 40% of the total electorate voted "yes", then the measure would fall. Not 40% of the vote, but 40% of the electorate. Which was something that no political party had ever achieved. This was Westminster dirty tricks par excellence.



I vaguely remember the period running up to the Devolution Referendum of March 1979, I was 16, too young to vote and a frustrated horny young buck, who was still into the Clash. The Labour Party in Scotland seemed to be going through one of its periodic eat-your-babies moments. Brian Wilson, Robin Cook and Tam Dalyell roared at Mary Marquis and John Toye that devolution was the work of Satan. The "Labour Movement Yes" campaign, ran by of all people an awkward student known as Gordon Brown was intent on winning devoultion on its own, avoiding the cross-party "Yes for Scotland" campaign. Helen Liddell, then secretary of the Scottish Labour party (now anonymous in Australia) claimed "We will not be soiling our hands by joining any umbrella 'Yes' group."

With the waters well and truly muddied, to such an extent that the electorate were as confused as a first time voter faced with a Douglas Alexander ballot sheet, the referendum went ahead on March 1, 1979. The turnout was 63.8% low by the standards of the day, massive by comparison to last weeks Euro referendum.

The 'YES' vote had a majority of 100,000. One million two hundred and thirty thousand, nine hundred and thirty seven people living in Scotland voted YES. The proportion of the electorate who had voted "yes" was 33% - short of the Cook -Cunningham 40% rule. As it was intended to, the 40% rule derailed devolution for the best part of twenty years. Ten years on from devolution, we're only now beginning to see how a Government wholly committed to the well being of the Scottish people might actually work.

The 40% rule was undemocratic and the referendum results justified the establishment of a devolved assembly in Scotland. When the SNP group approached Callaghan and asked him to reconsider the 40% amendment, he refused, and consigned himself to the political wilderness. Even if he had survived the motion of censure, Callaghan was toast. The 1970's were memorable for choppers, punk, strikes and power cuts. labour had been found wanting, thrawn to the Unions, laughed at by industry.

Within weeks of the General Election, the Scotland Act was binned by a triumphalist Thatcher. Once again, home rule was off the agenda.

Tomorrow, Parliamentarians of all stripes get a chance to vote on a fractured Labour Government. The contrast between Westminster and Holyrood has never been more vivid. It's time to get Labour out, and elect enough SNP MP's who have one sole aim, to deliver Independence to this small Northern European country that just wants to be normal.

George Cunningham, the man who dashed the aspirations of a country for a generation, is still alive. He left the Labour Party in the early 1980's and was one of the co-founders of the SDP, problem is nobody really remembers him.

Anyone else noticed how quiet poor old AM2's blog is today?

Here he is after receiving the news that despite his best efforts of negative whining about the SNP over the past two years plus, that the pesky electorate have taken Iain Gray and Gordon Brown outside and laughed in their ugly little Unionist faces.

Hell hath no fury like a Doonhamer scorned.

Dr Ian Gibson, the Dumfries born Labour MP for Norwich has decided to fuck over Gordon Brown. Gibson has been barred from standing for the Labour party at the next general election, following questions about his expenses. He reportedly claimed for a flat in which his daughter lived rent-free.

He claimed £80,000 in taxpayers’ money for a flat where his daughter lived with her partner. He then sold the west London property to his daughter and her partner William Turner in April this year for £162,000 - less than he bought it for in 1999 and well below the current market rate.

The Telegraph reported that Dr Gibson published his expenses on his Internet website earlier this week, but blacked out key details. He's in good company, David Mundell tried the same trick and omitted to mention his photoshop addiction at £65 a month, thankfull the Telegraph righted that omission.

Flipping Fuck, Tony McNulty has just resigned too!



Gibson's resignation means that Broon now has a definite bye-election on his hands.



How many will go after Monday's European results are out?

Ha ha ha ha and furthemore ha! Caroline Flint has just gone!

Meltdown

Alan Sugar will be the Enterprise Czar...So the country is in the worst recession for decades and unemployment is rapidly rising. What do you do? Hire an "Enterprise Czar" who is famous for telling people they are fired on national telly. Brilliant. Lord Alan Sugar

Alan Johnson Home Secretary, he used to be a postie... you may have read that.

Arch Blairite Hutton resigns as Defence Secretary when Blighty is at war on two fronts!

Katie Price to be Woman's Minister

Ed Balls, stays on as Kiddy secretary

Darling to retain his post as chancellor.


What next?

Cabinet of the all the talents.

Who's next?

The Rt Hon Alistair Darling MP Shoogly peg

The Rt Hon David Miliband MP Reshuffle survivor?

The Rt Hon Jack Straw MP After brtual murder of two French students should be sacked.

The Rt Hon Jacqui Smith MP Oops

The Rt Hon Alan Johnson MP Eye on the prize

The Rt Hon John Hutton MP Mad stary eyes, likely contestant in future staring competition.

The Rt Hon Lord Mandelson PC Prince of Darkness

The Rt Hon Hilary Benn MP Nonentity

The Rt Hon Douglas Alexander MP Semi detached

The Rt Hon Harriet Harman QC MP Cauldron for hire

The Rt Hon Hazel Blears MP Oops

The Rt Hon Geoff Hoon MP E-X-P-E-N-S-E-S

The Rt Hon Ed Balls MP Chancellor in waiting...Telegraph expenses couples story in waiting too.

The Rt Hon Ed Miliband MP Saving up for new bike.

The Rt Hon Shaun Woodward MP Thinks Broon doing great job. Sectionable.

The Rt Hon Baroness Ashton of Upholland PC Who?

The Rt Hon Baroness Royall of Blaisdon PC Who the fuck are these people?

The Rt Hon James Purnell MP Ooops

The Rt Hon Andrew Burnham MP Plucked eyebrows, I mean come on!

The Rt Hon John Denham MP Who?

The Rt Hon Yvette Cooper MP Ahh Mrs Balls - dad leading nuclear lobbyist. Telegraph in waiting

The Rt Hon Paul Murphy MP Is he even Welsh?

The Rt Hon Jim Murphy MP Has been very, very quiet. Completely off the radar, apart from informing the radar that he voted for Susan Boyle in Britain's Got Extra Chromosomes.

Take you pick. I'm thinking Darling, Milliband and Hoon.

According to the very latest YouGov poll commissioned by the Telegraph. 60% of voters want Gordon Brown to call a general election by the autumn rather than wait until next year.

The poll sample was a MASSIVE 5000 which must make it one of the most authoritative surveys around.

Asked when the next general election should be held, 18 per cent said Brown should go to the country within the next few weeks, 42 per cent said he should wait until the autumn, and 32 per cent believe he should wait until next year.

Voting intentions for the European elections, for those who can be arsed, show there is so little between Labour, the Lib Dems and Ukip that predicting which of them will come fourth is too close to call. While the Tories are ahead on 27 per cent, Labour is on 17 per cent, Ukip on 16 per cent and the Lib Dems 15 per cent. One unassailable fact is the rise of the BNP who appear to be on target for four MEP seats in London, the North West, the West Midlands and Yorkshire & Humber.

Brown's popularity has slumped to a staggeringly low 17% putting him somewhere between Myra Hindley and Ian Huntley in the 'would you let them babysit the kids' stake.

All the smart money seems to be looking to Alan Johnson plunging the dagger into Brown within a week of the Euro election results and pitching for a General Election in the Autumn.

What place in history for Brown?

Has there ever been an unelected Prime Minister who didn't lead his party into a General Election? Gordon, this could be your legacy...


http://tinyurl.com/mbhja5

Purcell humps Gray

The Observer has a hugely interesting interview with Stephen Purcell, the leader of Glasgow City council and king in making/MSP/First Minister of Scotland/Leader of Labour in Holyrood, according to the vested interests.

Interesting passages include the following:

"Disillusioned party activists are facing up to a generation of wandering in the wilderness, out of power and unable to stop the country sleepwalking into separatism as it grows accustomed to life under a nationalist administration."

"His words will smooth the furrowed brows of a handful of Labour MSPs, who have their eye on the national leadership after the decent but dull current leader, Iain Gray, is finally forced to leave office. Gray's fate was effectively sealed a few weeks ago when a poll showed that his recognition factor among voters was lower than that of Annabel Goldie, the redoubtable chief of the Scottish Tories. But there are influential business and media players in Scotland who want Purcell to be Labour's next first minister."

But the most telling is this comment, that effectively strolls up behind Iain Gray and guts him like a fish.


"New Labour as a brand is dead and the period of opposition we're having in Holyrood is giving us a chance to reflect on how we administer devolution. Look, there's no point in pretending that the SNP government has not done very well, given that none of their ministers had had any previous experience in government. There's no doubt the processes of devolution have been helped by having a minority government in Holyrood."

These few short words peal the death toll for New Labour and recognise what everyone in Scottish Labour knows, but wont say publicly. New Labour is Dead....Let's keep it that way.


http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/may/31/steven-purcell-glasgow-labour-elections

Major Eric Joyce, The First expenses Millionaire MP - come on down.

'This conversation may have cost me £160,000'... Major Eric Joyce, apologist in Chief for Blair on Newsnight, highest claimant on the Allowances list, claims a rented £500 a month flat in Falkirk is his main home, and his London home is his second, despite the fact that his wife works in Kent as a Head teacher and his daughters attend school there...has finally been rumbled.


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1186953/This-conversation-cost-160-000-MP-claimed-1m-admits-failed-pay-capital-gains-tax.html

The Sunday Mail of all people have got him by his gineger short and curlies, painting him as a venal money grabbing, sleaze bucket. In doing so, they have managed to do what every Scottish paper knew to be the case, but singularly failed to do anything about.

The Mail on Sunday put it to him that since his wife and daughters lived at the family home in London, his wife worked as teacher in the South-East and his children have always gone to school in London, his London home must have been their main home, not their second home.

'I discussed it at great length with the Fees Office,' he said. 'There was always a possibility that we would move to Scotland.'

This sums up the Labour in Scotland for me.

"When first approached, Mr Joyce said he could not recall whether he or his wife owned the Croydon house. Nor could he recall whether he had paid capital gains tax on it."

He defended his decision not to pay capital gains tax, saying that from the point of view of the Inland Revenue, the Croydon house was genuinely his main home, not his second home.

The people of Falkirk deserve better than this poisonous dwarf, who is politics solely for the advance of his own bank balance.

Alan S, when you read this. Tell us about the good work he's done in Falkirk with his focus groups...

Malcolm Bruce and his big bright idea.

Once upon a time, there was a Wiberal Democwat called Malcolm. Malcolm had been sent to work in London by the good people's of Gordon, to represent them and make sure that no bad things happened to them.

Malcolm, bought a little flat in London, the people of Gordon paid for this.

Malcolm had an office on Inverurie, the people of Gordon paid for this.

Malcolm had a family house in Torphins - the people of Gordon paid for this...

Malcolm liked money, but didn't like dipping into his own pockets.

One day some rain dribbled into his conservatory. Malcolm decided that the people of Gordon 559 miles away, should pay for his leaky conservatory. They did, all £3,200 worth.

On another day Malcolm was sitting in his London apartment when a light bulb "EXPLODED" Malcolm was very scared. One minute light - the next utter darkness and confusion. There was only one solution, the good people of Gordon could pay for the complete rewiring of Malcolm's London pied a terre at a cost of £8757. They did

Malcolm is the President of the Wiberal Democwats in Scotland. At the next General Election, the good people of Gordon, might be tempted to hang Malcolm from an Inverurie lampost by his Liberal bollocks. Chances are they'll pay for the noose too.

The End.

'Don't tell us what we already know. Give us solutions'. Paul Martin MSP

The dilapidated and quite magnificent Springburn Winter Gardens. Waiting for someone to recognise its beauty and potential.



'Don't tell us what we already know. Give us solutions'. Paul Martin MSP

Springburn, lovely name, redolent of countryside streams, pastoral scenes, milkmaids, randy ploughboys, meadows, butterflys, daisy chains and so on...Then the Victorian age, St Rollox, 25% of the then worlds trains, heavy industry, migration, religious divide, social deprivation, closure, mass unemployment, drinking, poverty ill health, crime...

Kenneth Roy did an excellent piece in 'The Scottish Review'.

http://www.scottishreview.net/KRoy103.html

I read on with my maw slightly agape.

School leavers with no qualifications 300 per cent higher than the Scottish average.

Teenage pregnancies – 60 per cent higher

Deaths from lung cancer – 94 per cent higher

Heart disease – 40 per cent higher

Folk on income support – 130 per cent higher than the national average

Unemployment rate – 140 per cent higher.

I couldn't quite believe these figures so checked the source.

http://www.scotpho.org.uk/nmsruntime/saveasdialog.asp?lID=2396&sID=2012

...and there it all was in black and white...or rather more blue and white.

CONSTITUENCY HEALTH REPORT 2001
A profile of the health of the people in Glasgow Springburn.

The respected academic authors said:

"A rounded view of this constituency would suggest that it has a considerably lower average household income, higher levels of
unemployment and a lower level of educational attainment among
school leavers compared to the Scottish average. Almost all the
health indicators compare poorly with the Scottish average, with
teenage pregnancy and lung cancer mortality being
particularly high in comparison."

They highlighted that the reason for this report:


"The aim of this profile is to focus the attention of politicians and
planners on health rather than disease, and to highlight the fact that
many factors other than medical care influence the health of
communities and individuals. It is intended to stimulate debate and
lead to action targeted at the determinants of health at a local level.
The profile is also for local residents to inform them about the
health of the constituency they live in."

The response of the elected members?



'Don't tell us what we already know. Give us solutions'. Paul Martin MSP

Amazingly enough this report was written in 2001 and presented to Martin and Son as a means of engaging them with the problems, opening it up to debate.

At the time Dad was the recently elected Speaker of the House of Commons. Possibly the most important post outside of the big three cabinet posts.

Son Paul, was midway through his first term as the local MSP and an important part of the Labour machine running Holyrood.

In the EIGHT years since this independent report was published, what have they done?

Surely, a father and son of the constituency would put their heads together and play their combined networking cards. They could have called in massive favours and brought jobs to the constituency, built new schools, invigorated the teachers, set up early intervention measures to stop teenage pregnancies, smoking heart disease.

Between them they had the means to turn around Springburn and invest some enthusiasm and ambition in it.

What did they do?

Scottish Labour Honourable Members aka the 39 Stumps

The 39 Stumps. Complete with expenses for 2007-8 Not including their salaries.

1. Douglas Alexander Paisley and Renfrewshire South Labour Party
£134,127 (487th)

2. Gordon Banks Ochil and South Perthshire Labour Party
2007-8 £171,106 (14th)

3. Anne Begg Aberdeen South Labour Party
£166,793 (34th)

4. Gordon Brown Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath Labour Party
£124,454 (575th)

5. Russell Brown Dumfries and Galloway Labour Party
£165,025 (45th)

6. Des Browne Kilmarnock and Loudoun Labour Party
£146,941 (320th)

7. David Cairns Inverclyde Labour Party
£145,976 (336th)

8. Katy Clark North Ayrshire and Arran Labour Party
£156,852 (148th)

9. Tom Clarke Coatbridge, Chryston and Bellshill Labour Party
£155,970 (173rd)

10. Michael Connarty Linlithgow and East Falkirk Labour Party
£183,466 (2nd)

11. Alistair Darling Edinburgh South West Labour Party
£151,904 (240th)

12. Jim Devine Livingston Labour Party
£169,133 (21st)

13. Ian Davidson Glasgow South West Labour Party
£170,014 (17th)

14. Brian Donohoe Central Ayrshire Labour Party
£163,390 (64th)

15. Frank Doran Aberdeen North Labour Party
£171,717 (11th)

16. Nigel Griffiths Edinburgh South Labour Party
£158,067 (123rd)

17. David Hamilton Midlothian Labour Party
£134,300 (484th)

18. Tom Harris Glasgow South Labour Party
£166,991 (32nd)

19. Jimmy Hood by name Lanark and Hamilton East Labour Party
£156,260 (163rd)

20. Adam Ingram East Kilbride, Strathaven and Lesmahagow Labour Party 2007-8 £121,499 (591st) Remunerated directorships
Non-executive Chairman of SignPoint Secure Ltd.; emergency communications. (£45,001-£50,000)
Adam Ingram Advisory Limited, set up May 2008, to undertake consultancy work, to which is payable income from the following:
Non-executive Chairman of Argus Scotland Ltd; design and construction services in the urban environment. (£20,001-£25,000)
Director, International School for Security and Explosives Education (ISSEE) (non-executive). (£10,001-£15,000)
Consultant to Argus Libya UK LLP; design and construction services in the urban environment. (£20,001-£25,000)
Consultant to Electronic Data Systems Ltd (EDS); provision of IT services to public and private sector clients in the UK. (£50,001-£55,000)


21. Eric Joyce Falkirk Labour Party
£187,334 (1st)

22. Mark Lazarowicz Edinburgh North and Leith Labour/Co-operative
£165,171 (43rd)

23. Thomas McAvoy Rutherglen and Hamilton West Labour Party
£150,976 (254th)

24. John McFall West Dunbartonshire Labour/Co-operative
£161,121 (85th)

25. James McGovern Dundee West Labour Party
£171,989 (9th)

26. Anne McGuire Stirling Labour Party
£162,765 (69th)

27. Rosemary McKenna Cumbernauld, Kilsyth and Kirkintilloch East Labour Party £167,113 (29th)

28. Ann McKechin Glasgow North Labour Party
£147,535 (313th)

29. Michael Martin Glasgow North East Labour Party – Speaker
£74,522 (642nd)* Yeah right!

30. Jim Murphy East Renfrewshire Labour Party
£162,542 (72nd)

31. Sandra Osborne Ayr, Carrick and Cumnock Labour Party
£128,701 (543rd)

32. Anne Picking aka Moffat the Bruiser East Lothian Labour Party
£168,255 (23rd)

33. John Reid Airdrie and Shotts Labour Party
£160,209 (98th)

34. John Robertson Glasgow North West Labour Party
£152,542 (229th)

35. Frank Roy Motherwell and Wishaw Labour Party
£158,637 (117th)

36. Lindsay Roy Glenrothes Labour Party
New boy hasn't learned the ropes yet.

37. Mohammad Sarwar Glasgow Central Labour Party
£174,882 (5th)

38. Jim Sheridan Paisley and Renfrewshire North Labour Party
£152,989 (217th)

39. Gavin Strang Edinburgh East Labour Party
£157,571 (131st)

Baron Blowhard. Student-Councillor-MP-Lord-MSP-Sponger.

The Baron has spent the last 24 hours harassing journalists in an attempt to deflect criticism away from the worst outbreak of trough swilling fever since time began. He's been on BBC News 24, Radio Scotland's Morning Extra, The Today Programme on Radio 4 and even poor old Jeremy Vine's Radio 2 show.

His modus operandi has been very simplistic, attack the interviewers when they pursue the question of rule bending trouser filling, ask how much they as public employees earn and then rubbish them as a waste of his taxes. His taxes? The tax he pays is taken from the pay WE give him. The man has spent a lifetime sucking at the public teat.

A look at his biography finds a trail leading from private school to University to councillor, MP, Lord and finally MSP and court jester.



He attended fee paying Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' School alongside such hard-line socialists as Leon Brittan, Simon Schama, Sir Nicholas Serota and Brian Sewell.



Through to Edinburgh University, where he skipped on to the gravy train, after graduation and became full time President of the Scottish Union of Students.



After his presidency of SUS, he became Rector’s Assessor to the Rector of Edinburgh University and then from 1975-79 as Assessor from the Lothian Regional Council on the University Court.

Thankfully he also managed to get himself elected as a councillor in Edinburgh local government in May 1970. He was Vice-Chairman of Education and Bailie (Magistrate) on Edinburgh City Council, on which he served from l970 to l975.

In 1974, the Baron was elected to Lothian Regional Council where he was Chair of the Education Committee of the Council, of COSLA and of the Scottish Teachers Salaries and Conditions of Service Committee.

Ironically, he was also on the boards of Fettes College, Heriot’s and the Merchant Company and, more appropriately, Napier, Telford and Sighthill Colleges. He was a member of the General Teaching Council (GTC) and Chair of the Scottish Adult Literacy Agency.

He stood, unsuccessfully, for Parliament in West Edinburgh in June 1970 and in Edinburgh Pentlands in October l974 and was finally elected in South Ayrshire on 3rd May l979, when he defeated sitting MP Jim Sillars who had left Labour to form the Scottish Labour Party.

Fast forward to the end of the Baron’s life as an MP and we find a very wealthy man.

In 2005, he sold one Edinburgh property and bought another in the capital for £305,000 without a mortgage. He sold his home in Ayrshire for £600,000 - a deal that made him a £400,000 profit - and bought a cottage in Maybole for £280,000, again without a loan.

Then we discover that over a two-year period he claimed £45,000 for renting a London flat that his own mother left him in her will. That he had lived in since 1980, when his mother bought it. Naturally during the period 1980 to 2005 he also claimed expenses on that flat.

I'll not go into his drunken assualt on an old lady in London or his alleged touching relationships with the demi monde of Calton Hill or Ayr seafront.



Suffice it to say that, when it comes to lectures on fucking the public purse, Baron George Von Foulkes has no equal.

SCOTTISH LABOUR POLITICIAN OF THE DECADE

After much consideration and heavy thought as to which Scottish Labour Politician has proved themselves the most capable, intelligent, adroit, fleet of foot and mind, a politician with an uncanny ability to look in the mirror and foretell the future. I have come to the conclusion that although there are many worthy contenders, all with their own special idiosyncrasies, the one man (sorry ladies) who has shown that he has the chameleon like qualities of a spectre, a shift shaper, a man with the ability to melt into the background and read the runes of public disquiet, I present you with none other than the former Labour MP for Glasgow East, Mr. David Marshall



Mr Marshall, sitting in one of the safest Labour seats, as we all know left the troughs of Westminster last year citing 'stress' as his illness.

Was it stress brought about by the gargantuan task of overturning the morass of poverty, ill health, unemployment, alcohol and drug dependency rates or did our latter day Nostrodamus, look into the runes and discover that the raping of the public purse could only last for a fleeting few moments more?

Farewell David Marshall, may you enjoy your MP pension and additional entitlements into a long lasting old age.

Trough swilling at its finest

Ordinarily, I wouldn't bother doing a straight copy 'n' paste, however on this occasion my hat is off to Telegraph for going through the expenses of the Speaker of the House of Commons and Labour MP for Springburn. Father of Paul Martin Labour MSP for.....yep you guessed it Glasgow Springburn. Nothing like a family dynasty of trough swillers. Paul of course received all the air miles his dear old dad accrued when on publicy paid flights. He didn't declare it on his allowances, but don't worry, nobody prosecuted him...



For those of you who missed it on The Telegraph, read on and curse your misfortune for not getting on the gravy train.

Michael Martin: Speaker spent £1,400 on chauffeurs to his local job centre and Celtic Park

Michael Martin spent more than £1,400 on a chauffeurs in his Glasgow constituency, including journeys to the local job centre and to Celtic Park, the home of Celtic football club.

The disclosures are embarrassing for Mr Martin who as Speaker of the Commons has been spending hundreds of thousands of pounds trying to stop the details of the expenses claims being published.

Mr Martin spent more than £1,400 with a Scottish chauffeur hire company in 2004-05. He used it on 12 occasions.

For each of its customers, the company provides a driver wearing a uniform of a grey suit and grey cap. Mr Martin chose to hire a standard saloon car, which the company said would have been either a Jaguar XF, Volvo S80 or a Mercedes E-Class vehicle.

The claims show that on July 23 2004 Mr Martin took a chauffeur-driven car to Springburn Job Centre. The charge for the eight-hour day was £173.90 for a 40-mile round-trip.

The visits during that year also included three journeys to social housing projects in the city.

They included a trip on September 10 2004 to North Glasgow Housing Association. Overall the 32-mile journey took three-and-half hours and cost £97.62.

On another occasion, Mr Martin took a car to John Smith House, the head office of the Labour Party in Glasgow. The driver waited outside, and eventually billed Mr Martin for £64.11.

Mr Martin was also driven by the company from his home, via Celtic Park – where the driver waited – and on to the Glasgow Hilton, at a cost of £100.53 on March 6 2004.

Receipts filed with the fees office show that the account with the company was organised by Mr Martin's office in the House of Commons.

Mr Martin's details also show that he claimed nearly £290 for a two-night stay in April 2006 at the Culloden Hall Estate and Spa, one of the finest 5-star hotels in Northern Ireland. The Culloden's website describes the hotel, on the wooded slopes of the Holywood Hills overlooking Belfast Lough as "built for a bishop... fit for a king".

Mr Martin's expenses claims as the MP for Glasgow North East also show he claimed for the near-full food allowance on his second home during the summer holidays.

In one year – 2007-08 – he charged £2,200 for his food, including £1,050 in July, August and September 2007, when for the most part MPs are not meant to be claiming on their second home.

The Speaker also charged new "Aristocrat" carpets to the taxpayer, costing £1,834, at his constituency home in Glasgow as well as another £1,490 on the cost of redecorating a room.

Mr Martin left the taxpayer with a Rentokil bill for nearly £3,000 and charged for a £285 rug, the claims show. He also claimed £200 for employing someone to tidy his garden and £205 for gutter cleaning.

A spokesman for Mr Martin said: "There are certain circumstances that require Mr Martin to be driven.

He does not use government cars which would be more expensive for the infrequency of these occasions."

She said the fees office "permits the use of taxis for travel within the constituency on parliamentary business".

She said the new carpet was permitted by Commons' authorities. The stay in the hotel had been approved under Commons rules.

Profile: Michael Martin

Job: Speaker of the House of Commons

Salary: £138,724

Total second home claims

2004-05: £6,106

2005-06: £9,551

2006-07: £17,346

2007-08: £11,750

Scottish television from Newcastle!

Soooooo, here's a story. This week we've seen Party Political Broadcasts (PPB's) from all the major parties.

BBC Scotland have shown us Brown holding hands with Obama, whom I presume is standing in the forthcoming Euro elections. Murphy and Iain Gray got a mention, as did lots of snide comments about divorce and seperation.



However, here in the land of the Doonhamer a quick glance at this weeks TV schedule showed a strange anomaly. Border TV who no longer operate from Carlisle and have been subsumed within Tyne Tees to make Tyne Tees and Border ITV, made a boo boo. Based over in Newcastle they supposedly serve the circa 250,000 grumbling jocks in the Dumfries & Galloway and the Scottish Border regions, giving us a few moments of opt out TV as a sop to the OFCOM considerations, that they purportedly represent their viewers with local news and issues.




Therefore it was with some disquiet this week that I discovered that Border had decided not to show the SNP Party PPB and instead planned on showing the UKIP one. By doing so they disenfranchise a a sizeable number of SNP members, voters and future voters of seeing their countries democratically elected governments views on the life politic.



Vociferous emails were sent and sense finally prevailed. All well and good, but what is the point in having a regional TV company, part of the mahoosive ITV franchise that gives a few moments opt out reportage to a sizeable number of people in another country. Put it this way, the distance between Stranraer and Newcastle is similar to the distance between Stranraer and Dundee.

It's time for a distinct Scottish Digital broadcasting channel which can serve all the people of Scotland.

Paul McBride - QC I put it to you Sir, is still the biggest liar in the Scottish Legal System

http://www.sundaymail.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2009/05/03/exclusive-legal-aid-chief-arrested-with-rent-boy-in-shopping-centre-toilet-78057-21328394/


Sooooooo, the head of legal services at the Scottish Legal Aid Board (SLAB) is caught by police getting interior design tips from a convicted rent boy inside a toilet cubicle built for one and Paul McBride QC thunders that there is not enough evidence to convict.

Without being too graphic, the Legal Aid chappy was discovered by the Glasgow polis on his hunkers on a toilet floor presumably looking at the fine examples of art decor on the St Enoch centre bog tiles, whilst his young companion, in an excitable state of undress was gripped with the moment and explaining about how the colour of his home soft furnishing matched that of his boxer shorts. The polis and security guards obviously mistook the proximity of the two chappies in the loo for a passionate tryst, best kept for behind chintz curtains and not particularly best suited in a public place, and subsequently huckled them.

Naturally the policemen and Security guards who gave their time to make witness statements and the rather hard pressed procurator fiscal who deemed there was a case to answer, must have been a tad nonplussed when McBride with his keen analytical mind trumped their eyewitness reports with the astounding revelation that there was "not enough evidence to convict!"

The young scallywag who it is further alleged, was helping to clear a phlegm blockage in Mr Heggarty's windpipe with his priapic member was of course being defended by a run of the mill legal aid funded solicitor. Mr Heggarty was defended by McBride, the chap who Cathy Jamieson appointed to the legal Aid Board in 2007 for a four year term the remuneration for this hard job is a mere £8,328 for about three and a half days’ work a month. In 2006-7 McBride took £379,000 in legal aid fees.

Nice to see that the legal world in Scotland has its priorities right. When one of it's number is caught up in a scandal, be it for smuggling drugs up your snatch into prison, drunk driving, serious assault, attempted murder, inciting religious intolerance by singing songs of bigotry or merely paying a young man for sex in a public toilet, they will always defend their own and deem the charge to have insufficient evidence for conviction...Ach well I suppose Mr Haggarty can frame his written warning and put it on his office wall when he returns to publicly funded work, he's only been off on a sicky since he was caught in this delicate situation in January.

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY SCOTTISH GOVERNMENT

How many governments reach their midterm as a minority government only to find they're more popular than when they started out?

Answers on a fat Geordie Unionist's forehead in BiC pen...