Haggis-snorting terrorist appeasing chickens.

Much like our Gallic chums were labelled 'Cheese-eating surrender monkeys' by hard of thinking right wing, Jesus lovin' , banjo pluckin', dungaree wearing rednecks and the rest of the Bush cabinet. I imagine that Scotland is probably about to undergo a similar linguistic bashing.

Memorably our American cousins renamed French fries, 'freedom fries'. This got me thinking, what etymological ethnic cleansing might they do to remove 'Scotch' from their vocabulary?

Therefore I present to you my selection of new Scotch appellations.

Scotch egg = Freedom egg.

Scotch tape = Liberty tape.

Scotch whisky = Free speech juice

Scotch Beef = Emancipation beef

HopScotch = Hop Liberation

Scotch Broth = Immunity Soup

not forgetting the

Scotch pie = paradise pie.


You get my drift, please feel free to add your own contributions....

MEGRAHI DECISION MADE.

MacASKILL INFORMS FAMILIES OF ANNOUNCEMENT OF DECISIONS ON ABDELBASET ALI MOHMED AL-MEGRAHI

Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill has informed families and other interested parties that he has reached his decisions on the applications for prisoner transfer and compassionate release in relation to Mr Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al-Megrahi, and will announce his decisions on Thursday August 20, 2009.

This fulfils the Justice Secretary's pledge to inform families on both sides of the Atlantic, in advance, of the timing of his public announcement.

The statement will take place at 1pm on Thursday (8am Eastern Standard Time).

Mr MacAskill's statement will be followed by an opportunity for questions and one-to-one broadcast interviews.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The above release has been sent out worldwide. Media speculation will rage through the night. 'Insiders' will claim to know what decision Kenny MacAskill has taken. Perhaps family members or friends of victims will talk to the press before the 1pm press conference. Newsnight Scotland will go into meltdown, wee Glenn Campbell will possibly be elevated again to share a desk with Kirsty Wark or even Paxman!

Whichever way the Scottish Government decision goes, one fact remains and it is this. Kenny MacAskill has shown himself to be an honest, considered man, who has retained his dignity in the overwhelming maelstrom of shite caused by Bill Aitken, Conservative Justice spokesman, Paul McBride QC, Richard Baker Labour shadow Justice minister, Tavish Scott Lib Dem Leader and Jim Murphy Secretary for the State of Scotland.

The Scottish press has embarrassed itself yet again by pandering to anti SNP headlines and the quite frankly insulting piece by Magnus Linklater (a man who appears to live in shame of his SNP member mother) in the Times.

The imminent death of Megrahi, however, will not put an end to the questions asked about the bombing of PanAm 103 and it's fateful explosion over the Lockerbie skies. That unfortunately is an industry that has much currency to be wrung from it.

Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi A-Go-Go.

Standing atop the tallest grave at Lockerbie Memorial Garden of Remembrance, Paul McBride QC and 'hang 'em high' shadow Tory spokesman Bill Aitken have served an outpouring of piss and fury over Kenny MacAskill's, as yet undeclared decision on the short future of Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi. Our subservient media torn between pretending to be humanitarian and being seen as the last bastion of Justice, diligently quote their every dribbling utterance.

Even failed presidential candidate Senator John McCain and failed vice presidential candidate Senator Joseph Lieberman have chipped in with their two cents.

McCain hissed, "We have made clear to the Libyan authorities that we are resolutely opposed to his release."

Lieberman mumbled, "If Megrahi is released, there will be a very negative reaction by the American people."

I suppose that as McCain and Lieberman are elected representatives of the majority of those victims of Pan Am Flight 103, it would be churlish to deny them their views and opinions on this dilemma.

However, what really sticks in the fucking craw is that the Senators made clear their views, not in Washington, but in Tripoli, Libya, where they are part of a delegation selling MILITARY EQUIPMENT to Great Socialist People's Libyan Arab leader Muammar Gaddafi

Hey, don't worry it's only "non-lethal defence equipment", which naturally includes things like parts and accessories for killing machines they may have bought from elsewhere. And, hey Gaddafi's record on human rights might be a bit iffy with reported disappearances, torture, arbitrary arrests, detention of political prisoners, a lack of civil liberties, restrictions on freedom of religion and discrimination against women and ethnic minorities, but all of that pales by comparison when you consider all that lovely black expensive OIL just waiting to be dug out of the sand and transported to the good ol USA.

Oh but fear not, 'we' are not being left out of the piggy bank, Libya are looking like the preferred bidders for Shell's Stanlow complex, Britain's second largest oil refinery near Ellesmere Port for a bargain £1.5 billion.



Meanwhile, according to the Tripoli Post. Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi's 95 year old mother is keeping the front door open as she expects her boy home from his "English jail" before Ramadan. She hasn't been told that he's dying of prostrate cancer, because her family fear the news may kill her. But hey, what's one more victim...

http://tripolipost.com/articledetail.asp?c=1&i=3462

Naturally, professional baldy man-child Labour's £500 Justice spokesman, Richard Baker, has gone very quiet. One can imagine he's under strict instructions to shut the fuck up, hopefully he hasn't done a wee wee in anticipation of shrieking at MacAskill for whichever decision he takes.

Thou eunuchs of language, thou pimps of gender, murderous accouchers of infant learning, thou pickled herrings in the puppet show of nonsense.

One rule for them, another for the working class punter.

Benefits claimant fined for fraud

Once again the court has signalled that benefit fraud
will be dealt with firmly in a case at Dumfries Sheriff
Court this week.

Nicola Rae aged 30 of Mossvale, Lochmaben was fined
£400 following a joint investigation between the
Department of Work and Pensions and Dumfries and
Galloway Council.

Nicola Rae admitted that she failed to advise both
organisations that she was employed by a cleaning
company. This resulted in her obtaining Income
Support of £1667.30, Housing Benefit of £359.53,
and Council Tax Benefit of £127.67 to which
she was not entitled. She is currently paying back the
overpayment and in addition has to pay the fine.

Dumfries and Galloway Council takes benefit theft
very seriously. Although the vast majority of people
who claim benefits are honest, those who commit
benefit theft are picking  the pockets of law-abiding
taxpayers.

The latest government estimate (2008/09) is that
£900 million is lost from public funds every year through
all benefit fraud. Fraud in Housing Benefit is estimated
to cost £210 million every year.

How to stop speeding on Scottish roads.

Gay scientists isolate the Christian gene.

Councillor Gunn, you cannot be cured.

Happy Birthday High MacDiarmid

David Mundell MP Out in Africa.

Interesting to note that the Shadow Secretary for the State of Scotland, David Mundell was absent from tonight's Newsnicht, wherein Gordon Brewer spoke about reform of the expenses farrago to an assortment of MP's notably Anne Begg Labour, Michael Moore Lib Dem, John Mason SNP and the Conservative candidate for Renfrewshire East, the man who takes on Jim Murphy, Richard Cook.

http://www.voterichardcook.blogspot.com/


As interesting as it was to see the man who will probably thrash Jim Murphy, Richard Cook, and hear the same platitudes from him as every other Tory candidate, my interest was piqued that he was standing in for Mundell, because the MP for Dumfriesshire, Clydesdale,Tweeddale and err Africa was again off in Africa, a mere few hours after Parliament closed for business until October.

One might have thought that given the pasting Mr Mundell received over his expenses, wreaths, cameras, photoshop, photographers, calendars, owning a flat in Edinburgh paid for by the Scottish Parliament that he might have taken some time out and thought rather than galivant off to Africa, again, I'll stay at home and work towards assuring my constituents that I'm not in politics for all the freeby trips I can get or the photo opportunities. Alas and alack no. Mr Mundell is out in Africa, last year he visted Rwanda, he met the President, the Justice Minister, he even had time to see the community service being done by those guilty of genocide crimes. All in all he had a jolly good time, he even had a romp in a bed with seven other Tories...

http://www.davidmundell.org.uk/Blog.aspx?Y=2008&M=Aug&d=08#08

He was also over in Afghanistan last year dismissing the squaddies complaints as just grumbles...what does he do for Dumfriesshire, Clydesdale and Tweedsdale?

Scottish Labour Finally Confirmed to be Living in La La Land.

Now we all know Ms Davidson's history as former spin doctor for Labour, formerly married to Labour MEP David Martin, who for some strange reason chose a life of croissants and café au lait in Strasbourg over breakfast evry morning for the rest of his life with Lorraine... author of Jack McConnell's 'biography'. Sadly no longer available in a charity shop near you...and so on.

However, I digress, as always,when she penned this clarion call to the Labour supporting readers of The Times... did she at any point pause and think to herself, "what mince this is, why oh why do SLAB continue to hit their head against this particular brick wall, when it has never done them any good?"


Scottish Labour's new new strategy from today's edition of The Times
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/scotland/article6711039.ece
Iain Gray, the Scottish Labour Leader, has ordered his party to step up attacks on Alex Salmond in the wake of a series of setbacks for the First Minister.
Senior Labour strategists claim “the gloves are now off” as far as the First Minister is concerned in the run-up to the Glasgow North East by-election and next year's general election.
The decision to concentrate opposition fire on the First Minister marks a shift in Labour thinking.
Until now Labour has opted to focus on SNP ministers whom they perceived as weaker members of the Nationalist administration - such as Fiona Hyslop and Kenny MacAskill.
One Labour source said: “There was a feeling that Alex Salmond was popular and seen to be doing a good job so we took the view that he would get himself into trouble without us targeting him.”
However, a recent series of focus group meetings carried out for the party revealed that voters may be turning against the First Minister.
A highly placed party source said: “The word arrogance keeps coming up, particularly among women. People are also beginning to see our argument about broken promises.”
The change in strategy comes after several Labour MSPs argued that the “hands off Salmond” approach wasn't working and that the First Minister was being given free rein.
Labour now plans to target the First Minister in a series of attacks blaming him for “conning the people of Scotland” over plans to abolish council tax, wipe out student debt and bring in grants for first-time home buyers.
The move to target Mr Salmond was taken after a series of recent reports criticising the First Minister's judgement.
Mr Salmond came under fire over his decision to appear on a TV programme, instead of attending a meeting with the drinks giant Diageo to discuss job losses, and earlier this week the former head of counter-terrorism at the Metropolitan Police, Andy Hayman, told The Times that Mr Salmond had to be persuaded against starting a turf war following the terror attack on Glasgow airport.
A Labour spokesperson said: “This has been one of the worst weeks for Alex Salmond, with a major gaffe on Diageo, his by-election chaos, and the damning revelations from Andy Hayman on his handling of the Glasgow airport bombings.
“Alex Salmond has been personally damaged by these revelations and not come out well from the scrutiny he has been put under.”
The SNP last night dismissed Labour's new strategy. A spokeswoman for the party said: “The SNP in government and across the country is continuing to work in partnership with the people of Scotland to meet their ambitions for their country.
“While opposition parties bicker over ridiculous strategy or personal attacks the SNP will continue to govern with the support of the people of Scotland and to focus all our efforts on protecting jobs and supporting communities as we work through Labour's recession.”
Senior Conservatives also attacked Labour, claiming they have failed to hold Mr Salmond to account. A Tory source said: “The Labour Party is terrified of Alex Salmond and no wonder, he got rid of Wendy Alexander and his rips Iain Gray to shreds at First Minister's Questions.”
A Tory spokesman added: “Annabel Goldie is the only opposition leader who has really challenged Alex Salmond.”

What does the laziest man in Scottish politics get up to on a sunny weekend?

Why if your the one time First Minister of Scotland and spurned future High Commissioner of Malawi you accept a freebie to the VIP section of T in the Park, where you can hang out with a topless Jarvis from Iglu and Harty (No, me neither) an American electronically enhanced popular rock beat combo.



Ach well it beats working in your shit-hole of a constituency...

Labour smears prompt James Dornan to step aside as SNP candidate in North East Glasgow.

I suspect this one is going to be even dirtier than Glenrothes.

STATEMENT BY JAMES DORNAN

“In light of a report in one of today's newspapers, I have decided to step aside as the SNP candidate in the Glasgow North East by-election.

“In doing so, I want to make clear that I am not ashamed of having experienced financial difficulties in the past. Many people know only too well how that feels.

“I am taking legal advice on the suggestion that there may have been a technical breach of charities legislation by virtue of me being appointed a partner director of Culture and Sport Glasgow by Glasgow City Council, a position for which I received no financial gain whatsoever. However, I am absolutely clear that throughout the period of the Protected Trust Deed, I acted in good faith. I took advice about its implications and was advised that it was not a bar to holding public office.

“However, I am not prepared to allow this issue to overshadow the by-election or to be exploited by Labour as a distraction from the real issues of the campaign. Labour has let the people of Glasgow and Scotland down. This by-election is a chance for people to focus on the issues that matter and to elect an MP who will fight their corner. I believe that the SNP offers the prospect of real change for Glasgow North East and I am not prepared to allow allegations about me to get in the way of that.”

A spokesperson for the SNP said:

“This is an honourable decision by James Dornan. He is clearly putting the interests of the SNP and the Glasgow North East constituency ahead of his own.

“There is absolutely no shame in experiencing financial difficulties. Many people - particularly in this economic climate - know what that is like. Nor is having a Protected Trust Deed any bar to holding public office or being a candidate for election.

“However, James has decided that he wants to take legal advice on the suggestion that his appointment as a partner director of Culture & Sport Glasgow might have constituted a technical breach of charities legislation. He has made clear that he doesn't want this issue to be a distraction from the real issues facing people in Glasgow North East and he is to be commended for that.

“The Party will now move immediately to arrange a selection meeting to choose a new candidate and we look forward to the campaign ahead in which we will contrast the positive record of the SNP with the failed policies of Labour.”

The full Tom Gordon story here.

http://www.sundayherald.com/news/heraldnews/display.var.2519484.0.snp_election_candidate_in_bankruptcy_question.php

Sarah Brown emerged fully formed from a rainbow and was carried to this earth by a litter of minty breathed puppies.

Or so the media would have us believe.

The Daily Mail reports today that Sarah Brown changed outfits three times in one day at the G8 summit, they fail to say whether this wardrobe included her wonderful cock jacket.

Everyone needs a Willie.

Did he ask it because everybody knows the Baron likes the cock?

Save Johnny Walker

First they demolished the wonderful Walker Apartments and gave us out of town shopping malls that killed the town centre. Willie McKelvie Labour MP and the Labour council did nothing.

Then they promised to bring their Headquarters to Edinburgh. They lied. The feeble fifty Labour MP's did nothing.

Now they've decided to shaft the remaining few folk in Killie with jobs by closing down a plant that's nearly 200 years old. Labour MP Des Browne, claimed it was the SNP's fault.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/videos-pics/



Sign the petition. Boycott Diageo don't drink Guinness until they get the message.

http://www.gopetition.co.uk/online/29112.html

Cooncillor Willie Scobie, the Voltaire of Stranraer

Open Bins Attract Vermin.

Poor old Willie Scobie the Labour councillor for Stranraer, sees himself as the bête noire of local housing authority Dumfries and Galloway Housing Partnership (DGHP). So miffed is he with DGHP for having the temerity to replace 400 sub-standard post WW2, leaking, expensive to heat, miserable shit hole cooncil hooses with 600 state of the art, semi-detached, eco houses funded by DGHP, D&G Council and shock horror the Scottish Government, that he has taken grumbling to a new level. Since being turfed out of administration in May 2007, Willie has submitted a grand total of 765 email cyber whinges to DGHP's complaints officer.

DGHP have had to spend £40,000 on an independent investigation into Councillor Scobie’s complaints. Rather unsurprisingly, none of them were found to have any basis in fact

So prodigious is Oor Willie, that it could reasonably be said, Voltaire was lazy by comparison. The amount of wasted resources in terms of DGHP staff time in dealing with Willie's cyber moaning was enough to have built an entire row of fabby new houses.

In a delicious piece of "get it right up ya" DGHP published a league table a league table of email complaints. Willie was top with 765, second, Labour MP Russell Brown on 203 whines; third Dumfries Labour MSP Elaine Murray on 190 grumbles; 4th Dumfriesshire Tory MP David Mundell on 129 hissy fits; and bringing up the rear Stranraer Labour Councillor Grahame Forster on 134 "why no's". Those crazy unionists...

The photo above is from a front page of local blatt, the Stranraer Free Press, with some poor chap who was left a note on his bin saying the midgie men couldn't take it away as it was opened by more than two inches...The poor sod, didn't realise that the sort of grumble that we'd all moan to a mate in the pub about would spur Willie into full on media action. "Alert the media, a man is unhappy at being asked to close his bin lid."

Certainly the comment from an anonymous council spokesperson, that "open bins would not be collected, as they attract vermin" has raised many a chuckle with those in DGHP and further afield. Poor Willie.

Andy Murray anti-English myth debunked by Tim Henman

Trident--- a modest proposal.

As taxpayers we are required to make a financial contribution to Trident through our taxes. These taxes paid for the illegal war in Iraq and the ongoing conflict in Afghanistan.

Last week as David Cameron rattled his sabre in Scotland's direction and told us he would be replacing Trident and keeping it in Scotland, I was reminded of an elderly friend, whose family are Quakers. During WW2 he was one of the 60,0000 people who registered as conscientious objectors.

As a Conchie he suffered from the white feathers, abuse in the street, shunned by fellow University students etcetera. After a couple of court appearances, he was directed to accept a non-combatant role as a battlefield ambulance driver. The horrors of what he had to pick up and identify still haunt him to this day. After this stint he was directed to the UXB squad and spent the remaining war years diffusing unexploded bombs. All the time amidst accusations of cowardice.

He survived it all to marry a wonderful girl, have a happy family life, two kids, a successful career. A lifetime supporter of Labour he campaigned tirelessly against nuclear weapons, illegal wars, inequality, he even campaigned to get Jim Murphy elected in East Renfrewshire. Something he now regrets. He's not a nationalist, but does recognise that an Independent Scotland will not be the end of the world and that our people might be better served by having the right to self determination. His family took in victims of the Spanish Civil War, his pride in old Labour runs through his veins.

I've digressed long enough, one of the conversations we had about Trident, was the insane cost of it. He mentioned that the Quakers have always attempted to withold a portion of their income tax from being spent on War and its weapons. He had several times decided not to pay taxes for others to kill or prepare to kill in his name. This resulted in visits from bailiffs to recover money, and once a rebate from the Inland Revenue which had taken too much tax in the first place.

All this got me thinking, that we as a nation have become so very passive in protesting. We take to the streets to march in polite order to protest genocide in Iraq and then go home and watch news as entertainment. We no longer allow ourselves to be pissed off to such an extent that we actually do something.

The Quaker idea of withholding taxes which fund weapons of mass destruction is something we should all aspire to. If enough people withhold a proportional amount of their taxes, the already overburdened legal system would be teetering on the verge of collapse, pro Trident politicians of all stripes would be forced to listen. We already know that Scotland does not want Trident, we specifically do not want the UK's entire nuclear warhead capability sitting in the water a mere 25 miles from our largest city. David Cameron, might just realise that Scotland does not want Trident.

It's time to take a stand.

Bizarre discovery in Michael Jackson's basement

Ok, one tribute to Michael Jackson, as done by Ian Brown.

SNP supporters are sartorial, erudite, insousciant and above all else dashed dapper. Not according to an obscure blogging Labour councillor.

"Matted hair; missing teeth; dribbling mouths; filthy beards; scars; fierce stares and fiercer tattoos; growling monosyllabic grunts and the unmistakeable stench of last nights booze; and the men were no better."

Councillor Terry Kelly (Him ur a socialist)

http://councillorterrykelly.blogspot.com/2009/06/3-ring-circus-that-is-renfrewshire.html

What does this handsome man, who sees nothing wrong with disparaging voters who democratically express their political preference as SNP look like?

Ladies gird your loins. Gents check your hetero-meter is set to max.

I give you, Councillor Terry Kelly!




Phew what a scorcher!