We're doomed...don't think so.

There you go, 3.30 am and the party is just about over. The Tartan overlord's call for 20 SNP MP's proved to be catastrophically overambitious. 

The rampant enthusiasm after the narrow Holyrood victory in 2007 and the splendid Westminster by-election later that year in Glasgow East, came back and smacked Salmond and SNP supporters hard in the face.

Any straws to be clutched at will be dismissed as sour grapes by Labour party supporters and their fellow unionists. However, a biased media utterly thirled to Labour, blindingly negative campaigning and the emergence of tactical voting against the Tories all deserve an airing, simply because they served to turn around and kick the crap out of the SNP's aspirations. Believers in independence are bound to be depressed and suffering from the moops for the next couple of days. 

However, this was a Westminster election and making the breakthrough was always going to be a big ask. I suppose once the psephologist's start number crunching we'll discover that the SNP increased their votes from 2005, sadly that's no comfort at this time. I naively always see elections in optimistic terms, believing the electorate just needs the chance to listen to alternative arguments, before the veil of fear and propaganda is lifted. Jings, more fool me.

BBC Scotland, have rightly gone to the victors for their views tonight. We've had a continuous uninterrupted rant from Messrs Alexander, Murphy and Gray panning the SNP. This crowing and chest thumping will continue for a few days. It'll make some of us depressed, most it will simply anger, it'll help to resolve our desire to show these posturing mountebanks that we are not completely defeated. You have to ask why they aren't gracious in victory, could it be that they still fear the SNP are popular in government, that the task of standing up to the Tories in Westminster will be difficult from opposition and that they have been a woefully poor opposition in Holyrood? They're shrieking and preening because they're quite simply shitting themselves. David Cameron in control of Scotland's finances and reserved matters will not be popular here. A referendum on Independence offers many opportunities and will be difficult for them to manipulate from opposition in both parliaments. 

Holyrood next year, it's all to play for.

     

Wiggle your thumbs if you're a mason...

Look at the clever poster our friends in the Labour Party(Scotland) made for their website. One side of the poster has David Cameron with his eyes shut, the crazy mad eyes shut fool that he is. The other side of the poster has Gordon Brown shaking hands with a man wearing a fetching yellow hard hat, this image shows us all that the Gordon has walked in that man's shoes, he does through the medium of winking. The lovable rogue that he is...

It's an interesting handshake, and one I've witnessed in person. It's not as bad as this one. 

 Or this one:

Or even these:

This non-handshake is quite naturally excruciating.



Here's one he did last night in deepest Dumfries last night whilst glad handling the crowd that turned up to hail the messiah as he walked among the throng curing their ails, making the blind see, the lame walk and the politically challenged vote. 

Some fantastic thumb work going on, in that there manoeuvre.

It reminded me of this.

Last day on borrowed time?

The Jaguar in the photo above made news around the world last week when it hosted one of the most embarrassing, excruciating political gaffes in recent memory.


Gordon Brown's mask slipped and his unguarded moment showed him in the most starkest of terms, to be a vain, shallow politician with regard only for his own perceived public persona...stop me when this sounds too familiar... 


In a last desperate attempt to shore up the evaporating Labour vote for the incumbent MP for Dumfries and Galloway, and friend to the ass, Russell Brown. 

The Prime Minister spoke to a hand picked audience of die-hard supporters that would outdo Stalin in the stage managed stakes in Dumfries tonight. The public were not invited, a cordon of police were placed around the Summerhill community centre in Dumfries. Requests for information on when the PM would be speaking, were met with shifty, 'what's it to you, who are you?' responses, from of all people, the BBC. So much for democracy and license fees.

This is what his press officers released to the media as his Churchillian statement:


Mr Brown told supporters in Dumfries he was the right man to lead Britain through "dangerous and uncertain" economic times and Labour would always have the interests of the British people at heart. 

'Dangerous and uncertain', well if you will go off barging into illegal wars, oh and how's that near ONE TRILLION POUND DEBT that you presided over coming along? If he'd said 'we won't have your interests at heart', that would be news.

"Give us your support and trust and we will be there every day to support you. We will be steadfast, strong and always on your side," he said. 

Say what? That sounds like Jack London's description of his favourite husky in 'Call of the Wild'.


"Whatever your doubts, whatever your disappointments, if you want to secure a recovery that is fair to all and public services that serve all....I ask you to come home to Labour." 

I know I beat you, but I really love you, and I'll be kind to you until the next time I've had a wee bit too much down the boozer...

He said Labour's achievements over the past 13 years contrasted with a Conservative Party that had not changed and "still believed in protecting privilege".  "I say let's not go backwards with the Conservative Party, let's go forward with Labour."

He could also have said lets not go sideways with the Lib Dems. Going forward with Labour, sounds lovely, but where does it lead to? More of the same incompetent dithering, erosion of civil liberties, destruction of the unions and more unelected nobles governing us?


Farewell Gordon Brown, you offered substance after the years of snake oil from Blair, you delivered nothing.

Apart from the ass, all photos above by kind permission of Graham Robertson (c)

Where the wild things are. Labour in Dumfries take huff, Scotsman back them up.

In lieu of a monkey wearing a red rosette. I feel this Ass says more about Russell Brown and the Labour party than I ever could...

Who would have thought that a comment left on a Caledonian Mercury article would have caused Labour in Dumfries to roar their terrible roars, gnash their terrible teeth and spit their spoilt dummy?

The article in Caledonian Mercury, written by that handsome cove Hamish Macdonell, is about Labour's use of celebrity sell outs supporting their party. You know the type of Labour Party apologist who betrays their hard won celebrity, for a chance to touch the hem of Gordon Brown and Baron Mandelson's robes. Eddie Izzard, is the classic example of one who has no thoughts on Iraq, torture, rendition, poverty, corruption, crime etcetera, but hey, he says Britain isn't broken it's 'brilliant'.


In response to comments on the broken down aspects of Greenock, the home town of Labour supporting thespian Richard Wilson and the place he swapped for London in the 1960's, I responded thus to the previous commentator.


Mark MacLachlan says:

May 4, 2010 at 11:03 am

Alibi, a wee drive through Lochside, Lincluden and Sandside to avoid the traffic this morning revealed some ‘Vote Labour’ posters stuck in rather broken down gardens and dirty windows.
There are people in these places who are content to continue in the same walk-to-the-post-office-cash-the-giro-get-weeks-shopping-at-farmfoods-go-home-watch-Jeremy-Kyle-die existence. It’s all too sad. 

Innocuous enough and a fairly bog standard description of the existence of many people living in the run down estates that pass for social housing in Labour's Britain.

Therefore I was a tad surprised that so close to the bone was my comment that Dumfresian Labour supporters or even perhaps a journalist with a hard on for non Union supporting bloggers, would pitch this comment to The Scotsman  as a faux snide article.


==============================================

General Election 2010: SNP blogger on the offensive

Premium Article !

Your account has been frozen. For your available options click the below button.
Options

Premium Article !

To read this article in full you must have registered and have a Premium Content Subscription with the The Scotsman site.
Subscribe

Registered Article !

To read this article in full you must be registered with the site.

Sign In

Register

Published Date: 05 May 2010

LABOUR claimed to be "deeply offended" by comments written by SNP blogger Mark MacLachlan about voters in Dumfries.

"There are people in these places who are content to continue in the same walk-to-the-post-office-cash-the-giro-get-week's-shopping-at-Farmfoods-go-home-watch-Jeremy-Kyle-die existence. It's all too sad," he said.

Offended anyone? No?

===============================================


It's a sad day when 24 hours before an election that's about to see the Labour vote decimated and the party consigned to an electoral Siberia, that all they can think about is trying to put the boot into a blogger who made a comment on an article that moved into a discussion about the generations of Scots lost to poverty, which they have done nothing about. It's all too sad.

I dare say, it'll end up in my local paper The Dumfries and Galloway SubStandard....

£906 billion debt.

In 1997, a disillusioned and much maligned UK electorate kicked the Tories out. After 18 years of sleaze, 'Cash for Questions' a destroyed manufacturing workforce, record unemployment, lost generations, communities torn apart, miners strike...etcetera time was up for Thatcher and Major's 'no such thing as society' society. 

Labour supporters took to the streets, impromptu parties sprung up, the cheers when Scottish Tories fell at the ballot box could be heard throughout the country, the biggest 'ya beauties' being reserved for Messrs, Rifkind, Forsyth and Lang. The Tories lost 178 seats, Labour won an additional 147, giving them their largest victory ever with a total of 418 seats to the the Tories 165.



Bambi Blair was swept in on a wave of euphoria. Expectation was at a height we wouldn't witness again until the arrival of Super-Obama. Things could only--get better. So where, as the cliché asks, did it all go wrong?



Today Labour are desperately fighting to avoid third place in the UK General Election. Labour MP's in marginal constituencies across the UK are bricking it. That generation of predominantly white men in their mid-fifties are facing serious upheaval in their lives and careers. Once the gravy train stops it's nigh on impossible to get back on. What will they do for a living, have they all sounded out consultancies and lobbyists, will they all prostitute their networks for some cash-in-hand representation? Many have filled their boots with as much public largesse as they could grasp. 

The expenses scandal which dominated the European elections last year destroyed the public will to participate. A year later we have a legacy of sound-bites and the three 'main' parties all manfully trying to tip-toe around the scandal whilst adopting suitable chastened postures whenever the subject raises its ugly head. Those MP's facing criminal convictions are used as whipping boys by the boys fervently hoping they are still in with a chance of keeping their jobs.



There's a website titled Labour Watch which I occasionally dip into. It's one of the most dispiriting things you'll ever read. The author has catalogued just about every Labour sleaze and corruption story since 1997. Towards the end of 2008, you can see his or her fervour for spotlighting Labour failings begins to wane, I imagine deciding to compile this list can have serious implications for your well being. The expenses scandal kicked him/her off again. Then I imagine sleaze fatigue kicks in again and there are very few posts in 2010. No doubt the author is a Tory, lots of links to the right wing press, Mail, Express, Telegraph etcetera. However, I defy even the most ardent Labour supporter to spend ten minutes scrolling through the headlines and links and not pause to think, if there's even the remotest possibility that there might just be something in the allegations. Just click and scroll, it's a real eye-opener as to how a supposedly socially democratic, left of centre party can be thirled to the attractions of vested interests, power, wealth, fame and celebrity.

Thanks Labour. No more boom and bust, an end to sleaze. Oh and the astronomical figure that keeps flashing up on the screen comes from the debt bombshell site. A truly horrifying debt accumulator reminiscent of the one Nationwide used to run in the 1970's when Denis Healey was praised for overseeing inflation totter along at 25%.

 


I guess things didn't get better.

Glasgow's most eagerly awaited election result. Ever.

Cooooeeeee, hullo Steven Purcell,  former leader of Glasgow City Council and ex Labour Councillor here. With a wee message for all you pure dead brilliant fans of Scottish Labour. We're pure brilliant sos we urr. Jist when youse hud thought ahd vanished or something here am urr all ready to pile in and help Labour beat they nasty Scottish natz...

See this Thursday youse have got a great big decision to make in Glesga. Cos like, my old seat Drumchuckie and Anniesland is up fur grabs, so it is. Now youse know it makes pure sense that youse all vote fur Labour cos we're like the party that cares an that innit, we look after youse. They other balloons urnae interested in helping youse wi saving yer dole money or gieing youse jobs wi oor pals businesses.

So see on May 6th vote for ma wee pal Chrissy boy Hughes, he's taking over frae me. He'll set about they Nats, jist you watch. Oh and see if youse don't vote fur Labour, youse huv had it. Ah'll get ma pal big Jim tae come round and take a bite oot ae youse. Got it?

Cheeeeriothenoo xxx

I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your energy bills down.

Terrible news from Germany for the world of anti-wind turbinementalists.

It appears that despite strenuous attempts to decry these serene giants in our landscape as being dangerous to birdies, inefficient on non-windy days and as hideous eyesores on our braw, raw and fatally beautiful land, they've been fiendishly successful.

According to Bloomberg so successful have wind turbines been in Germany that consumers are being paid to keep their lights on. 'Twice this year, the nation’s 21,000 wind turbines pumped out so much power that utilities reduced customer bills for using the surplus electricity.'

I love this, "After years of getting government incentives to install windmills, operators in Europe may have become their own worst enemy, reducing the total price paid for electricity in Germany, Europe’s biggest power market, by as much as €5 billion." 

Now implicit in this reporting is the fear for the big energy companies who have been piling into renewable energy opportunities faster, than Jim Murphy's attempts to look at himself in the mirror, is their fear that cheaper energy for the consumer means a drop in their stock market value.


Michty, what a dilemma cheaper fuel for all or less profit for fat cats. Sheesh who knew caring capitalism could be so danged confusing?

The Sun tries to top 2007 eve of election scare tactic headline

In 2007 the super soaraway Scottish Sun gave us the infamous noose photo. What will this years scare tactic be from our cuddly Unionist dependence junkies be?

Something like this possibly...

Make you own scary Sun, Daily Mail or Daily Telegraph headline here.


Naturally you can have lovely ones too.

Scotland gagged. Preserve the Union 2

Preserve the Union 2. Handbook for our Unionist dependence junkies when encountering an evil Nat. Pip pip

Do your homework Paxman!

Thanks to the ever watchful Baron Sarwar of Govan for this excellent kippering of Jeremy Paxman who was caught all of a flutter by Doctor Eurfyl ap Gwilym of Plaid Cymru.


The rather condescending way he dismisses Dr Gwilym as deputy chairman of the Principality Building Society, as if he were some provincial building society branch manager, belies his ignorance of the PBS which boasts 51 branches across Wales, more than 1,000 staff and over 500,000 members. Not only is Principality a major player in the Welsh economy it is also the 8th largest building society in the UK.



Paxman's attack on Dr Gwilim's figures echo that of Welsh Secretary Peter Hain.

Iechyd da!

Angela McCluskey - Diva without a talent show.

I know that we're all supposed to worship at the altar of the world's most famous Scottish singer, talent show runner up Susan Boyle and her remarkable rise to platinum record sales, global fame and wealth. Even Alan McGee was at it a couple of weeks ago, disparaging the critique by numbers brigade by proclaiming Ms Boyle the new diva and giving her edgier cult status by suggesting her vocal delivery belongs in the world of David Lynch where her 'album is eerily detached to an almost tragic degree'.

So in tribute to a brilliant singer who hails from Glasgow and is just about completely unknown in her native land but revered around the world. I give you my wee pal Angela McCluskey of Glasgow, New York, Los Angeles and Paris and her latest single. Enjoy.



Angela McCluskey feat. Telepopmusik - Handle With Grace from YoungReplicant on Vimeo.

Pringle of Scotland Animation by David Shrigley - Life Behind The Scenes

Best viral from a Scottish company for a long time. Still I cannae see me wearing a pringle jumper unless I morph into a Woganesque golfamentalist.

Massive Jihad--Excellent pith take on Jihadists

The Liberals, a warning from history.

Recently I've been reading the novelist, historian, soldier, sportsman, diplomat and politician John Buchan's excellent auto-biography: 'Memory Hold-The-Door'.

Buchan, has long been regarded as the prototype for Richard Hannay, the hero of his adventure novel 'The 39 Steps.' written in 1915 and hugely popular in the trenches of World War One. The dynamic of a wrongly accused man-on-the-run story is now a Hollywood staple and has been for the past 75 years.

This recollection of his life, completed just a few short weeks before his death in 1940 is full of incredible anecdotes about historical figures and places ranging from Asquith to the Zambezi and illuminates history in a way that today's historians simply aren't capable of emulating. The language and philosophies are redolent of a tantalisingly recent, but forlornly bygone age.

This stoical 'son-of-the-manse' grasped at every opportunity of education. By his mid teenage years he had read more story-tellers, poets, philosophers and essayists than I'll wager anyone who reads this has. A prodigious writer, in his lifetime Buchan produced over 30 novels, 7 short story collections, and nearly 100 works of non-fiction. Among them best selling pieces of popular fiction and critically acclaimed works of history on such diverse subjects as Julius Caesar, Cromwell, Raleigh, Montrose and Augustus.

Coming from a family of modest means he was dependent on winning scholarships to Glasgow and Oxford Universities. At Oxford he came into his own, becoming President of the Union and supplementing his income by becoming an author and publishing some six novels. His fame as a Scot at Oxford seemed to have sent a benchmark for those to follow. 

Buchan's description of how he came to join the Tories is quite illuminating and highly relevant for today. When I first read the passage below, I immediately thought about the hegemony that Labour have held over Scotland and how Buchan could be foreshadowing what many Scots feel about the Labour Party today. However, since last weeks 'Leader's Debate' and Nick Clegg's ascendency to sainthood in the polls, I think the message is equably applicable to both of these Unionist parties.

'I came of a Liberal family, most of my friends were Liberals, I agreed with nine-tenths of he party's creed. Indeed, I think that my political faith was always Liberalism-or rather "  liberality"  as Gilbert Murray has interpreted the word. But when I stood for Parliament it had to be the other side.
Now that the once omnipotent Liberal party has so declined, it is hard to realise how it was in 1911--especially in Scotland. It's dogmas were so completely taken for granted that their presentation partook less of argument than of tribal incantation. Mr Gladstone had given it an aura of earnest morality, so that its platforms were also pulpits and its harangues had the weight of sermons. It's members seemed to assume that their opponents  must be lacking either in morals or mind. The Tories were the "stupid" party; Liberals alone understood and sympathised with the poor; a working man who was not a Liberal was inaccessible to reason, or morally corrupt, or intimidated by laird or employer. I remember a lady summing up the attitude thus: Tories may think they are better born, but Liberals know they are better born.' 

I dare say many will dismiss Buchan's words as that of a typical Tory grandee slamming the opposition, indulging in the same petty politics we see and hear every day in Scotland. They would be wrong. I consider Buchan to be a thinking politician unlike any other we've seen in Scotland. He was a man capable of taking all arguments, collating them and then once digested deciding on his own viewpoint and how that might help his fellow Scots.  Before judging him too hastily consider these words, taken from a speech he gave in the Houses of Common in 1932. 

"  I believe that every Scotsman should be a Scottish nationalist. If it could be proved that a separate Scottish Parliament were desirable, that is to say that the merits were greater than the disadvantages, Scotsmen should support it. I would go further. Even if it were not proved desirable, if it could be proved desirable by any substantial majority of the Scottish people, then Scotland should be allowed to make the decision."  John Buchan

Ashmageddon and beyond

The hyperbole has yet again smashed through the apoplexy barrier with some of the comments and headlines surrounding the eruption of the Eyjafjallajokul volcano, the name still sounds vaguely like a Glaswegian threat to me, 'Aye-ya-fjalla-yokel'. 

There are doom laden predictions of Europe's economy set to be in tatters, it could last years, it's a health risk, we're all going to die etcetera. Most alarming was the news that the precious foods we fly in from the other side of the world, real essentials like fresh pineapple chunks from Ghana and organic baby corn from Thailand are going to rot abroad, our supermarket shelves left bare...

To be honest, I'm loving it. It's like Planet 1 Humans 0. The skies over my house have been beautiful the last couple of days; with no ugly jet trails vandalising my skyline, no Tornado's screaming across the Cairn Valley at 200 feet playing 'Where's Terry Taliban and his ginger Jihadist mates?'

The stories of happy people living beside the big airports describing the joy of being able to enjoy their gardens for the first time without the constant background noise of a plane taking off every 90 seconds has given the poor bastards a taste of the better qualities of life, the way it should be. 

So what if business slows down a bit and people can't travel the world at the same break neck speed we've become used to. Those stuck away from home will get back eventually, just a bit later than they had planned. They'll soon be reminiscing in a spirit of the Blitz stylee, no doubt there's already a flotilla of little ships and windsurfers evacuating the poor folk stranded at Dunkirk with Johnny Foreigner. Surely there's no need for panic over losing contact with loved ones after all, we pride ourselves on living in this instant digital communication age, where we can facebook, twitter, bebo, video-conference, there's an I-phone app for just about everything except for wiping your arse, and no doubt someone's working on the I-wipe. Twitter has already proved helpful, with twitterees arranging lift sharing and bed crashing around the globe, actually bringing cyber chums together in real life!

Maybe the sporadic nature of the volcanoes ash will allow us to start getting a bit more involved with life here. Perhaps we'll start thinking about the inadequacies of our non flight transport infrastructure. Perhaps we could take the entire rail system back into public hands and operate it as a vital community service rather than a publicly subsidised profit machine for fat cat speculators. Let's think about opening up our old sea routes, our trade with Scandinavia and Ireland. Look at the way our communities off the west coast have been allowed to become retirement areas with locals priced out of the market, because the only way in for industry is by single track with passing places B roads, when previously fleets of puffers and steamers operated off the coast and island. What about the idle container ships currently dumped at Loch Striven, how fast can they be put into action to take up the slack of lost Air freight business?

Naturally there are calls for bail outs of the airlines. It didn't happen after the Twin Towers attacks, why should BA, BMI, Virgin et al expect help from the public purse now? Maybe they should consider investing in Helium inflated dirigibles. Greater cargo shifting possibilities, better for the environment, and ideal for leisurely travel. The Germans have been doing it at Friedrichshafen since the days of the Zeppelins, and are working on Airships that are extremely safe, have fantastic potential for lifting all sorts of cargo and people. Then there's the whole unexplored world of the orbital airship.

Aye, things are changing, surely now it's time to kick back and just slow down our lives? We might just enjoy it a little bit more.

Why would anyone want to be the £abour £ivingstone MP?

What the shitting crikey is going on in West Lothian, with further reporting of Labour councillors to the Police for alleged offences under the Public Bodies Corrupt Practises Act?

To further muddy the picture, the two Labour councillors reported to plod by council chief executive, Alex Linkston, under the councils Anti-Fraud and Corruption Policy are Councillor Willie Dunn and Councillor Graeme Morrice. Councillor Morrice is of course the PPC for Labour, the man tipped to replace poor Jim Devine.

According to Independent Councillor Gordon Beurskens the allegations are some 8 months old and refer back to the period when Labour were in control of the council. He further alleges that the crown and police have sat on this story and done nothing for the past eight months.


What I find astonishing is that this decision by the soon to retire Chief Executive, (he's taking a 45 year old pension with him) was taken on the 8th of April, the Action to save St John's Hospital Party put it out as press release on the 12th of April, yet here we are having just popped into the 18th April and there has been no mention of it in the mainstream media, nor even the West Lothian Councils own 'Newsroom'.

The Scotsman did a quite high profile piece on the Livingstone constituency on the 14th of April, a full six days after the decision had been made, once again for emphasis, by the Council Chief Executive, to report Morrice and Dunn to the police. They managed to include a couple of quotes from Morrice about the 'scandal' of Jim Devine being on Legal Aid and give him their customary free kick at the SNP. But no mention of what is surely a fairly large story, given Councillor Morrice's current ambition and potential job...


Councillor Beurskens, appears to have attracted a lot of opprobrium from the usual sources, in fact The Sunday Herald's favourite wee terrier, Paul Hutcheon has yet another 'exclusive' giving Cllr Beursken a quite tremendous shafting, whilst predictably, also shoeing the SNP at the same. Naturally, he makes no mention of either Messrs Dunn and Morrice...

Superspud to the rescue.

When he's not saving poor old women from out of control cars and rescuing kittens from trees, Jim Murphy the sepulchral Secretary for the State of Scotland never misses an opportunity to profess his love of football. 

In fact it struck the very essence of awe into me one evening when watching Rep Scotland to see SuperSpud, man of ra peeple, nonchalantly wander into an honest-it-wasn't-pre-arranged vox pop (honest) to give his views on the latest Scotland performance to a beeb reporter.

What concerns me most about Mr Murphy and football, was starkly brought home to me yesterday afternoon when I took my elderly; Alzheimer suffering, retired miner, former trade union leader, former Labour supporting, father-in-law, Tam, for a wee drive in the nearby countryside to marvel at the clear blue skies. 

We stopped outside the former Dungavel prison, now home to all these pesky people who believed this to be a land of opportunity, the kind of people who risked life and limb to get here only to find themselves subject to racism, intimidation and a home for them and their children behind, barbed wire fences and  bars. 

As we parked, near the 'detention centre' a van pulled out, an advert on the back, read, 'ARCO, Britain's Leading Supplier of Personal Protection Equipment'. One can only imagine that what the driver delivered wasn't for the inmates protection. 

However, I digress, Tam, came out of his small-stroke dwammy to tell me that when he was captain of Muirkirk Juniors in the 1950 and early 1960's they would often play games against the prisoners at Dungavel. Sounding like something out of 'Porridge', a handful of prison officers would lead the prison team and a couple of hundred prisoners across the road to an immaculate little ground where the lags got the opportunity for a bit of a stretch and some legal assault on the opposition. Nobody ever thought of legging it as they were in the middle of the moors between Muirkirk, Strathaven and miles from civilisation.

The football pitch is still there, albeit it in a less than pristine condition.

Whilst wandering over the field to take the above photo, a thought struck me that this pitch was not being put to the best use. Jim Murphy, nearly two years ago famously claimed that as Secretary of State he was committed to ending the practise of housing the children of failed asylum seekers in Dungavel. Since then there has been a slew of campaigns highlighting this very practise, most recently the on going case of Florence and Precious Mhango. Mr Murphy has yet to either comment or make his commitment good.

Looking at the broken cross bar and the fit to be ploughed field, that was once a beautiful wee pitch, Tam turned to me and said "It's a pity that they cannae let they foreign folk and their weans in the prison out for a wee kickabout on the pitch on a grand day like this." I agreed and we went back to the car and drove home.

Victory for common sense and cheese.

Since there's no chance of escaping the country tonight thanks to the evil Icelandic volcano ashes engulfing the skies of Europe, I suppose we'll all have to sit in front of the idiot box and watch the three stooges slap, poke and punch each other, as they attempt to persuade the bored masses of their abilities to cock up the next four or five years. The good news is that Border TV have now joined the likes of BBC1 Scotland, BBC2 Scotland, STV, Channel 4 and Channel 5 and will be broadcasting the Tartan Overlord's address to the nation at 18.25 after the joy that is Lookaround. 

As readers of the blog know this wasn't happening as of yesterday. A couple of calls and some emails from yours truly and common sense prevailed.

The rather modest lady (who doesn't wish to be named) at Border TV and her sensible colleagues in the ITV network who made it happen have my thanks and that of the 250,000 other folk who live in the south of Scotland who are stuck between Selkirk and a hard place when it comes to getting news about what's happening in their own country. 

Now of course if Labour are returned at the General Election, Lookaround will cease to exist and some strange conglomeration headed up by a Welsh production company and the Daily Mail will assume responsibility for getting local news to the aforementioned 250,000 potential advertising customers.  Hopefully someone in this new outfit will make sure that lapses like the one mentioned above don't happen again. Naturally I hope Labour are humiliated beyond compare and this scenario won't happen. In that case, Border TV get your act together and Cameron think devolution of Broadcasting, you know it makes sense!

Nats close Scottish airports in suicide pact with Iceland

Anti-Nat stories, an occasional series. 

In a further moment of health and safety madness likely to be commonplace in an independent Scotland, the Nats have closed all of Scotland's airports. How much longer will we have to put up with these moaning NATS?

Except for viewers in the South of Scotland...Exclusive!

Yet again Tyne Tees - Border TV, the Newcastle based ITV broadcaster have gone awry in their political obligations to the 250,000 plus viewers living in Dumfries & Galloway, Borders and parts of Ayrshire, by NOT playing the SNP party political broadcast tomorrow night prior to the party leaders debate. Viewers outside the South of Scotland can see Alex Salmond say what he might have said if here were allowed to participate on BBC1 Scotland, BBC2 Scotland, STV, Channel 4 and Channel 5.

This isn't the first time the quarter of a million people in the South of Scotland have been left in the dark. Last year before the European elections Border hadn't scheduled the SNP Party Political Broadcast preferring instead to offer their viewers a party political broadcast from those not terribly well known in Auld Scotia, right wing nut jobs UKIP. 

Complaints were made from my Dumfries office, councillors who had been out knocking doors and stuffing envelopes through doors campaigning were justifiably miffed, messages were sent up the line to the high heid yins at the SNP bunker in Edinburgh. Calls were reluctantly made and the situation was rectified. The broadcast was played and the SNP finished an admirable second to the Tories, but absolutely trouncing Labour and the Lib Dems.

Naturally this isn't just the fault of Border TV, who have been forced to merge with Tyne Tees after Michael Grade foresaw an opportunity to squeeze a few extra pennies out of the pension fund by sacking staff and closing down the Carlisle operation, giving the South of Scotland a five minute opt out on 'Lookaround' where viewers can enjoy learning all about young lassies doing Irish dancing in Whitby... Nope, in many ways the folk that must share the blame for this apathy to the South of Scotland are the upper echelons of the SNP, particularly the team that negotiated these PPB's to be scheduled prior to the leaders debate. How soon before the party realise that Scotland doesn't end somewhere south of Motherwell on the M74?

At the same time as Salmond offers viewers outside the South of Scotland an alternative politics to the "Metropolitan machine" his party are guilty of 'kowtowing' (thanks to Hamish) to the Central belt and ignoring peripheral Scotland.

Not that Labour, the Tories or the Lib Dems are blameless. They've never thought to complain about the paucity of news coverage this area gets, it suits their political agenda just fine and dandy to ignore the question of Scottish self determination.


If as expected we say goodbye to Comrade Brown and his relentless dithering after the General Election and welcome in the shiny forehead of David 'Dave' Cameron and his desire to respect Scotland, the first thing he can do to show that respect is to legislate the devolution of broadcasting to Scotland, so that a nation of five million doesn't remain dependent on London or Newcastle for our cultural and political views.