It's in the rock record.
but we could have guessed.
Years ago, balmy Scotland
hugged the equator,
golden beaches, lush forests,
coconuts, bars on stilts,
beach volleyball, then one day
earth's orbit tipped to an ellipse,
plates shifted, the oceans shut,
and on that flimsy pretext
England came hurtling up
from its place in the Antarctic
and slammed us with its icy spine
into the North Atlantic,
shunted up the sheuch
of Iceland with all the ensuing
mountains, herring, sleet,
Sundays, words like sheuch...
That's it. No need for further talk.
At last, at last, it's proved, it's all their fault.
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22 comments:
Bastard English!
Coucou!
Scunnert, it's not their fault, it's the big chunk of land mass they live on and the joy riding aliens who sent the planet off kilter.
and I'm staying here pro tem.
Hien, you've been too long in La Belle France, Bugger
Noo here's a thing, heids up cos ye'll like it.
See hunners and thoosans o' years ago, when England, or raither, the seismic plate whit the land that that was gaunnae become England, that land, er , that bit...
See, ah'll start again. Aw' thae years ago, wan seismic plate, that was gaunnae end up as England, came rammying up, fae further doon sooth than what we were, gie'in' that we were somehere in the tropics, well onyroads. England comes up fae the sooth, thumps intae us, Scotland, and up intae the freezin' cauld it is.
Noo, where wis ah? Right. The join, the scar, that was left aifter this big shove. Lies miles doon noo, in the crust. Well see that scar? It lies right underneath the line o' Hadrian's Wa'!
See whit ah mean? The Roman's were'nae the Romans fer nuthin'
Mark - I think you have found out where Purcell has got to re Sophia.
Either that or she is on the same stuff!
Sophia have a look at this.
http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/geology/tecall1_4.mov
It takes a while to load...when its finished go to the end and then go back in steps until 430 million years BC. You'll see Scotland break away from the rest of Britain and join the Appalachian plate.
Scotland is an erratic..
Yes. It's a sort of Thomas Hardy tragedy of fate, if-only-things-had-been-just-a-little-different. If the direction of tectonic drift had been just a fraction of a degree west of where it was, Scotland and England would not have collided. Scotland would be a pleasant Atlantic island somewhere off southern Spain and England would have slithered on northwards so that London became the capital of Greenland. *sigh* Or maybe Velikovsky was right.
Ah'm no an erratic an' the only Purcell ah'm daein' is a trumpet voluntary.
They seek him here,
They seek him there,
Those Journos seek him,
Everywhere.
Is he in Govan,
Or Motherwell?
That damned elusive,
Pumpurcell...
Sophie Pangloss has been on the paint thinner, or more probably the red biddy gasified with town gas.
Gentlemen, I will not tolerate such low behaviour towards a lady. Mr Bugger, please apologise to Ms Pangloss in a manner befitting a Candide fan, lest I report you to the FSPCA for the disgusting things you did to that Panda.
Ach awe right then but, I ken where she lives, ye know!
Ah'm no stayin' in Lithuania noo, ah've moved. But it's awright.
Aw fur the best, in the best o' aw' possible worlds.
Where do I collect my £25, Sophie?
It is Leith Docks, eh Sophie?
http://hazzamon.co.uk/roger.html
Music from M Hulot's Holiday with and by Jacques Tati,
For the rest you have to use Mastercard, AKA tick.
Just finished a sampler 25cl bottle of a a Bordeaux, la Rose Cotes Rol.
It was a freebie and OK as that.
I was walking home and spotted a new wine merchant so in I went.
I asked him about Argentinian wines and the rumour I had heard that they were letting ore of their better wines out of the country. I know a wee bit about wine and that area so I blagged it.
I bought the cheapest wine he offered me, as a test you see, and he gave me the Bordeaux sampler as a gift. It was probably worth more that the Argentinian San Felieu plonk.
Cannae go back there for a wee while.
Just thought I'd share that with you all, especially Sophie Pangloss-- a bit rough around the edges but I a told she has a lovely finish.
Feck it, I'm off to open the Argie Red.
Hey! Bugger! Wha's this Sophie ye keep gaun oan aboot?
An' ca' me rough again an' it's yersel' that'll be comin' fae the docks!
Ah'll hae ma £25 back if ye dinnae mind.
Ye telt me it wus worth everee pennie tae!
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