Yesterday's Sunday Times had the mother of all stooshies, when TV presenter Neil Oliver responded to Professor Tom Devine's criticism of the BBC Scotland series A History of Scotland.
Professor Tom derided the programme as 'fatally flawed', 'profoundly disappointing' and resembling a 'mediocre B-movie'.
Former archaeology student and local newspaper reporter Oliver responded that he was not offended by the personal criticism aimed at him,he then rather bizarrely goes on at great length to say:
“I could not be less interested in what a plump old man thinks about my physical appearance... His thoughts won’t distract me for more than a nanosecond. To go on at greater length would be like hunting a domesticated cow with a high-powered rifle and a telescopic sight. I’m just not inclined to torment him further.”
You'll note the hirsute, hunk Oliver made no reference to any of the substantive criticisms Devine levelled at the programme. Devine, who is head of the school of history, classics and archaeology at Edinburgh university, was instead dismissed as as a “fool” with a narrow knowledge of Scottish history.
Anyone who has watched the programme through gritted teeth as yet another goblet of wine falls in slow motion across the flagstones, like an outcut from an Adam Ant video, or has bitten their tongue as a hoisted dagger is seen glinting aloft prior to being driven between the shoulders of a Mediaeval Iron Maiden fan, may find themselves agreeing with Prof Devine that this is history lite for mouth breathers.
The programme's target audience seems to consist of those who find great appeal in watching 'star' Oliver not only walk backwards, but talk to camera at the same time. Naturally, the money shot for the TV audience is a combination of Oliver gently handling some artefact of Scottish history whilst delicately brushing aside a strand of his luxurious hair from his manly brow.
Grown women have been known to collapse on DFS sofas throughout the land cusping their lady bits in orgiastic paroxysms of delight as the Neil, smoulders down the lens into the very heart of their damp gussets.
Unfortunately, Mr Oliver was at University with a chum of mine who actually made it in the cut throat world of 'Indiana Jones and the Search for a Meaningful Career'... I say unfortunate as he happens to have sent me a photograph of Mr Oliver in his not so hairy days. I leave you gentle reader to decide whether Mr Oliver would be the hair of telly history if he still looked like this...
,
Posts
23 comments:
Oh Monty, how bitchy lol. Actually Tom Devine is right, the programme is for up to 10 year olds I would say but Mr Oliver does give it a certain je ne c'est pas.
Mr Devine left the advisory board I believe. Pity he hadn't stayed to fight from within, but to be fair, maybe he had already tried that tack.
The luvvies don't like those of an independent mind.
Nice new blog I see. Did you know Kraft have put in a bid for the takeover of Cadburys? Don't think it'll come to anything though.
Prof Tom Devine, Prof Ted Cowan and just about every other Scottish historian of note declined an invitation to the advisory board as they were asked to do it on an unpaid, voluntary basis, and quite right too.
M Oliver's je ne sais quoi, lies purely in the allure of his follicles. I speak of this in the guise of a former man of hair.
Holy Rogaine batman! Is that a real picture? Agree the programme is a tablod TV nonsense with the production values of River City.
Being slightly different from the norm singles you out. Being a hefty hirsute biker among hairy bearded bikers, my job marked out my nickname.
The bairns at the library just called me Jesus.
Now I'm Santa.
Ye cannae win.
Conan
is "skeet" a sexual activity?
Lol
Is that you powdery residue?
Conan,
aye, it is myself
When are you doing a blog then?
And wtf is choss.Or do I really want to know?
Choss = stuff. From the French, dude. French choss is different and more like a reverse double decker
Ahoy hoy chaps, nice to see such a distinguished gathering herewithin....
Oh and furthermore, hoos and indeed poos!
Ahoy and a hoos poos
One cannot be too careful in these days of deranged cyber martyrs
Indeed that's us all fairly settled re identity now....or is it?
cue fiendish music as we unveil AM2 posing as AS...dum dum dummmmm.
Montague
yes, all settled. Although the life of my second, assumed avatar was once threatend by a cyber bomb under the VW Bora I was driving but never owned
Heh, here's me thinking it was it was the rock climbing definition...
Choss, not crack Conan
I think he was probably wise to grow his hair then...
is he in any way related to lord foulkes?
Whit a bunch ae intellectual snobs (and jealous wee farts) ye aw are. If some folks are inspired tae read up on their history through a popularizing wee tele show surely that's a guid thing?
How many of us really know the 'facts' and nuances of 15/16th century Scottish history to know the difference - and that's the real tragedy. This type of histopornography is able to take up its missionary position precisely because people like the good professors do not appear to have the staying power to prevail upon a frigid BBC political programming position.
Does anyone remember Dr Ian Grimble and his detailed programmes on ancient Scottish History back in the 70/80s?
I suspect that the setting of the Standard Grade and Higher History curriculum has diminished the status of Scottish History and therefore it has been 'relegated' to university departmets and the exclusive PhD student enthusiast. I ask with some trepidation if there is not an opportunity here for the Scottish Government to re-ignite an interest in Scottish history - but of course they will be blasted by some unionists for championing nationalistic bias.....and the unionist point would be?
As for Chocolate Oliver - too much sugar not enough essential flavour.
I think you're being a bit hard on oliver and the Prog. Monty. Aye, it glosses over many parts of Scottish history but it will get people interested in Scottish history that never were before. I know my wife won't miss it and I wouldn't call her a stupid woman. She did however have a Catholic education which didn't teach much Scottish history.
Sorry Dark Lochangargoyle, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome Neil Oliver is. His hair has gone into swish overload.
Post a Comment